Things were getting out of place,

getting our of hand day by day. 

And no one wants to help me get through this rough patch.

No one really gets it sometimes.

But it's okay though.

I know sometimes it gets better.

Something out there is waiting for me. 

And I'll be gone till Sunday and hopefully, insyaAllah i'll get my answers.

I miss my second home so much it needs me.

And it is about time I go there and catch up with everything I left.

Life's hard, but when I'm there,

everything makes it so simple yet amazing.

And on Monday, another step of my life begins.

New chapter, new story, a whole new level.

I start my full-time job at Pacific Conferences.

And Alhamdulillah for that.

If all is well, I might be sticking around for a long time.

I know there are other things I should be looking forward to,

other things to believe, other songs to listen to,

other activities that can make you smile.

Despite all the things that is happening around me now,

I am hoping I'll find my answers,

Somewhere along the way,

While I'm gone.

Lot's of Love,

zsznh.-

1st April 2012 happened too fast and I will never ever forget that incident.

It'll always be fresh in my mind. 

The day was really normal, our 38th. <3

A joined my family for lunch at ECP and things were oh so normal.

I believe we all had a lot of fun. 

But things went the other way round when me and A left to spend some time together.

So basically we talked and A told me things. 

And I wasn't happy with what he told. I got too angry and couldn't help 

but cry in e midst of  Tampines.. 

I wasn't afraid to cry. I wasn't shy.

I mean what's the point of holding back those tears?

And then I walked away knowing that it's all over.

Until I was shocked by the way he pulled my hand out of a sudden and pulled me to the side.
That moment, felt like hell.
Begged me, forcing me not to leave.
I cried even more, not knowing what to do. Just cried and asking him to let go.
Cause all I wanted was to leave. And I ran away.
I didn't blame him for not knowing that. I knew he got scared as well.
I am sorry but I couldnt help it A.
As my lover you need to know I hate being forced like that cause
it can give me trauma.
I really do apologize for my unusual behaviour.

Too much drama and I need to breathe. I need to calm down.

I know our relationship is on the rocks now.
On the verge of falling apart.
But I want to believe that somehow, somewhere,
deep inside our hearts and minds, we wanna fix this and believe
it gets better.

Even if it doesn't A, I will tell everyone you were the best part of my life.
Let's just leave it to Allah.
I know he'll lead us somewhere love.

Lots of love,
zsznh.-