We all knew that life was not going to be easy.
But some of us don't expect it to be that hard. Who knew?
Not me.
Many said they envy my life, as I get everything I want,
I have a very understanding family and I am always happy.
The truth is, my life is not 100% filled with happiness.
I am never in the right financial state of mind. Nobody really knew how much
money bothers me. Nobody knew how much I had to go through without it.
Sometimes for days, even weeks.
The truth is, I don't get everything I want. They may say I lied when it comes
to this part. But I'm not.
Yeah I get what I want sometimes, but what I got was through a lot of reluctance,
unwillingness, but yet still sincere from the heart.
I salute my dad for being who he is till this day.
I will always do. He is the pillar of my family.
It breaks my heart seeing him working for 12 hours every single day at the age of 64.
It really does break my heart, seeing him bringing just bread to work,
and admit that it is really sufficient.
It breaks my heart seeing mom giving me 5 dollars everyday for school.
Yes 5 dollars. And 10 every 2 days for my ez-link. It breaks my heart seeing her complaining that her wallet is not thick anymore. It even breaks my heart more when she badly wants to go for a holiday, y
et wants to use all her savings.
Breaks my heart when she wants to buy something for the house
but always ended up saying "tunggu bapak nya gaji lah"
Our life wasn't like that previously. It wasn't.
We did not ask for all this, even we were once in a dilemma of selling this precious house.
But what can we do. It is this hard times that pulled us together to become even more closer than we are.
It is this hard times I realised how much I've wasted my money for all those unnecessary things.
It is this hard times, I realise I should start making good use of myself and help with the situation.
As much as I want to continue on with my degree programme, I couldn't.
I shall start my career and make the best out of myself, and my parents.
I thank Allah for the tremendous moments we had, and having them as my parents.
I love you mak & bapak. <3
This post is especially for you. :')
-zsznh.
