Love,Relationships,Trust,Commitments, can they really last? Sometimes i wonder. Of all the good things you had with the ones you love, is this all for real, REAL ?
I havent been myself lately. Especially today.
Classmates have been asking, 'zie are you okay?'.
Frankly i'm not. I wasnt too sure myself why I am keeping quiet.
I've been doing a lot of thinking. I'm actually making myself confuse.
YES, that's the word.. CONFUSED.
I really dont know what I want for myself.
I really dont know what makes me happy.
And I dont know if everything I went through was real enough to
keep me going on each, and every single day.
I'm probably just too scared thinking of what is going to happen to me in the future
if I were to make only one decision. I'm not good at making decisions.
I'm not good at listening to advices. I'm not even good at following my heart.
All these things I thought of bring me silence, and tears..
I wanna get up there and tell myself I can do it, but I cant.
Cause I dont even know what I really want.
I can say all these shits that I have been through is fake~
19 months of ups,downs,love,laughter,sadness,care,happymoments,celebrations..
Can they really last?
I just keep having doubts.
I dont know really.
What if.. I lose it ?
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I dont know really. I can just drop down and cry and faint if I want to..
Nowadays people are getting more and more sensitive!
I cannot tolerate all this..
I probably cant accept changes in life.. :'(
I dont knowwww, I'll probably be ok the next day.
But deep down I'm still thinking.. Still thinking..
What is it that I really want?
i feel like our world's been infected
and somehow you left me neglected
we've found our lives been changed
babe, you lost me.
-Christina Aguilera.
Lots of Love,
-ZieSuzianah.
