bring me more memories

Confusion Leads To?

2011-12-26T01:07:00.001+07:00

(Do) doakan ku harus pergi (Re) relakan aku di sini
(Mi) misalnya aku kan pulang (Fa) fastikan kau tetap menunggu
(Sol) soal cinta luar biasa (La) lama-lama bisa gila
(Si) siapa yang tahu pasti (Do) doakan aku di sini

YES. Lama lama bisa gila tau ga?

I get confuse at the wrong time for the very wrong reasons.

I can't decide what I really want for myself and ended up giving others that impression towards me.

I can't tell what I need. I wasn't clear at times.

In fact all the time.

I feel crappy, yet at times angry.

Angry with the fact that some of them don't understand it from the start.

Some of them don't get it.

Angry with the fact that I get confused that it leads to heartbreaks, and more confusions.

Angry that I had to sympathize others and let go of what I really want.

Angry that the right thing that I just felt I needed, decided to be gone in split seconds.

So where does that leave me?

To more confusions? Is that it?

Leaving me with this guilty heart and carry it along everywhere I go.

That's exactly how I feel right now. GUILT.

Do you know? Anyone else knows?

And where does that leave them then?

They do what, trying to move on and think that everything will be perfectly fine,

just because we did went through the same thing before?

I may be ugly outside. I am not those pretty looking high class girls.

But it's not their choice or whoever is reading this to judge who I am inside.

I am not here to brag about how things should be. I know I am not in the position to do that.

But who cares about one fucking blogpost.

I mean, now is it clear enough? Still, no?

It's okay. We've all said our goodbyes.

I just don't feel like I should give up yet.

But it seems like you have.

zsznh.-

We Are Young~

2011-12-11T22:49:00.001+07:00

There are many things that are holding me back from the thing I want to do.

There are many issues I want to share with the world out there but I couldn't do.

But A, he allows me to do it.

He allows me to be the person I wanna be and become.

I can share with him without even him asking. A was there whenever and wherever I am.

Today, after the long talks, plans and rants, A finally made me realize..

That he is the one. The one that is called my future.

A makes me smile even when i'm having my biggest headache.

A supports me whenever I feel like doing things I like.

A gives me the strength to move on despite my financial situation.

A helps me in any way he can to make me happy.

He made me realize all the things we never had was worth the time waiting.

He brings the best out of me, he knowa who I am and I'm not.

Today, is the day i realized whom I can't live without.

Baby,

Tonight, we are young,

So let's set the world on fire,

We can burn brighter, than the sun..

I wanna grow old with you A.

I wanna be the one sitting beside you crying together while we watch Mohabbatein.

We shall live our dreams one day, Insyallah~

zsznh.

Those Bad Times.

2011-12-04T21:38:00.001+07:00

We all knew that life was not going to be easy.

But some of us don't expect it to be that hard. Who knew?

Not me.

Many said they envy my life, as I get everything I want,

I have a very understanding family and I am always happy.

The truth is, my life is not 100% filled with happiness.

I am never in the right financial state of mind. Nobody really knew how much

money bothers me. Nobody knew how much I had to go through without it.

Sometimes for days, even weeks.

The truth is, I don't get everything I want. They may say I lied when it comes

to this part. But I'm not.

Yeah I get what I want sometimes, but what I got was through a lot of reluctance,

unwillingness, but yet still sincere from the heart.

I salute my dad for being who he is till this day.

I will always do. He is the pillar of my family.

It breaks my heart seeing him working for 12 hours every single day at the age of 64.

It really does break my heart, seeing him bringing just bread to work,

and admit that it is really sufficient.

It breaks my heart seeing mom giving me 5 dollars everyday for school.

Yes 5 dollars. And 10 every 2 days for my ez-link. It breaks my heart seeing her complaining that her wallet is not thick anymore. It even breaks my heart more when she badly wants to go for a holiday, y

et wants to use all her savings.

Breaks my heart when she wants to buy something for the house

but always ended up saying "tunggu bapak nya gaji lah"

Our life wasn't like that previously. It wasn't.

We did not ask for all this, even we were once in a dilemma of selling this precious house.

But what can we do. It is this hard times that pulled us together to become even more closer than we are.

It is this hard times I realised how much I've wasted my money for all those unnecessary things.

It is this hard times, I realise I should start making good use of myself and help with the situation.

As much as I want to continue on with my degree programme, I couldn't.

I shall start my career and make the best out of myself, and my parents.

I thank Allah for the tremendous moments we had, and having them as my parents.

I love you mak & bapak. <3

This post is especially for you. :')

-zsznh.

A, my A.

2011-11-14T21:46:00.001+07:00

More than a friend, Just the right man.

A. He's mine, and will be mine till the end.

I love you, babe.

Nevermind, I don't have to find someone like you.

zsznh.-

Mana Pernah Aku Tau

2011-10-15T14:19:00.001+07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5HCZ4N54U4&feature=related

Someone should have given me this song now.

I don't care alr who's reading it. Or listening to it.

But you should know who you are.

#randompost

zsznh.

He Knows My Flaws And All

2011-10-12T23:06:00.001+07:00

Why do I get back to the same person every single time even when there's someone

out there whom they thought I deserve better?

Why do I still choose him even after all those things we've been through?

Why do we still have to meet each other, call each other, text each other everyday

even if it's not necessarily needed.

Why?

Cause he's there. He's there when I don't even need him. He's just there all the more I wanna avoid him. He's there, telling me I'll still be okay when I know I'm not.

He's there, trying to fight for us, trying to make things right.

He's there trying to make me feel better, and the best part is he knows when I'm not.

He Knows My Flaws And All.

It may take time for us to be the way we are now, but things are getting better.

It may sound RIDICULOUS to some people that we're together, but what can they do about it?

They have their say, we have ours.

A knows everything. He knows me, well and true enough.

He needs to know that whatever the future is like for us, I'll be standing there right beside him

He needs to know that we may fight a little, argue a little,

cry a little, or maybe pinch each other more(iknowialwaysdothathehe)

But we'll still tell each other 'iloveyou' more, hug each other all the time, spend time with each other, buy cute things for us, and stuff each other with more food.

Trust me I'll always do that.

You know me well, and you know me best A.

What do I have to lose, when I know you're the one.

What do I have to lose, when I know I get you back to be in my life.

I <3 you more than you ever knew A.

Let's walk together on this rough patch. I'll still be by your side.

zsznh.

p/s : thanks for gg around to find yogurt for me. hehehe I ate it twice today.

Injustice, Unfair.

2011-10-05T23:29:00.002+07:00

I shall not bring up this matter to anyone anymore cause no one really gets it.

No one really understand the exact feeling I'm feeling right now.

Try not talking to your mom for two days. When you know that you're not the one to be blamed. Yep, that's my situation now.

Mom asked me two days ago : Do I have plans on Sunday?

I said : Yep, going out with A.

Mom : Huh then I want to cook, nanti orang datang how?

I said : How would I know, A already plans to go out with me.

Mom : Why do you even plan like I don't exist?

And there's the exact part where my heart shattered into pieces.

First of all, how is this even my fault to begin with?

Mak, you didn't even ask me about my plans earlier but you instead made your own plans, for my birthday?

So siapa kena marah siapa?

Second of all, it's my birthday and why are u the one planning?

I'm not trying to disrespect you but it is very fairly logical that I should be the one getting angry cause you made plans without telling me?

I'm just the way with the way you thought I'd forget you.

When I don't even have any intention to do that to you.

And I've never thought that you never exist.

Mom, in anything, everywhere, or every word that i speak,

I'll always relate it to you somehow. You are in my heart, mind, body & soul 100%, 24/7, always, all the time and forever.

It never crossed my mind to hurt you like this.

But I'm turning 20 and you won't talk to me for 2 days.

This is heart-breaking.

Please talk to me mom before I turn 20 at least?

It'll mean a lot to me.

I just need justice.

zsznh. <3

Full of Disappointments.

2011-09-19T18:13:00.003+07:00

What is it that I do that makes it so hard to please everyone?

What is it that I said that makes people totally change their perception towards me?

Sometimes I feel like a loser.

Actually I feel like one all the time.

Cause I failed pleasing 3 man.

So wtf right? Sometimes it's very annoying that I tried really hard to please someone and then in the end I get is disappointment cause they were never really interested in the first place?

Sometimes I think that they were the ones who gives me hopes up high that they are interested.

But in the end I realize someone else out there is a better person than me.

Sometimes I think that they don't try hard enough to make me please them.

Sometimes I think they think this is a game.

Sometimes I think I'm just too ugly and can be easily be played around with.

Sometimes I think they make too much promises and tell me that I can trust them.

But still, in the end, there is a better person out there they can look at.

It even suck when the other person is actually your own girlfriend.

But anyways, I am happy in my own ways.

Today I feel very disappointed, in myself.

What have I not done, enough? What?

It sucks. Sucks to be me I guess?

lotsoflove, zsznh.

Make-Over? Not.

2011-08-24T01:52:00.004+07:00

Today kakak played make-up with me.

She said I'll make a pretty bride.

I said she'll make a good make-up artiste.

But I look ugly lah.

Something wrong somewhere.

But had fun though. (:

Great attempt sis me <3 you.

L.o.v.e : ZieSuzianah.-

What's Old Is Not New.

2011-08-21T23:40:00.003+07:00

"You know you truly love somebody when they hurt you so badly, but all you can think about it is the times when they made you smile."

It's been like that for me with this guy in the picture above.

We might be together some day. At least that's what we thought.

Don't worry about what people say.

A, if we are truly destined to be together, one day I know you will come to me and convince me with your words to take you back in my life. As for now, all I can do is think about you, think of how we were back then, think about all the things we shared, think about how much you've been my bestest friend, my lover, my companion.

Those were beautiful moments A.

We don't choose to be like this. Some times great things are meant to be re-build.

Let's just hope for the best. Cause I've known you forever it's really hard to let it go.

Many thinks I'm crazy.

But many gave me the support to do what I wanna do.

So A,

"I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away, I want you back, I want you back"

That's about it.

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

Such An Ugly Liar.

2011-08-05T22:02:00.002+07:00

Why do I always have to the one keeping your lies?

Why do I always have to face all your stupid hypocrite life?

And worst of all, why do I have to be your sister?

You have actually now successfully revealed the worst out of you.

And I swear I simply give up on you.

You may tell me next that I don't understand your situation.

You may tell me next that you don't deserve this treatment from me.

I remembered, the last thing I told you was "Don't do this to him"

But you fucking heck care. So now I'm telling you how disappointed I am with you.

You chose a fucking BIKE over a man's sincere heart?

You chose someone whom you know NUTS about over someone you know for many many months?

You chose to believe someone who said "May the best man win" over someone who told you that he will be engaged to you this coming year?

You're so stupid to have trusted someone else just like that.

God gave you ENOUGH, and you wanted more. Have you ever realised how much that hurt me to see you lying to the man who loves you dearly and it sucks to be me cause I'm like the only one who knows your ugly truth.

Eh aku penat tau.. Aku penat tengok kau macam gini. Kau happy2 eh bertenggek atas motor jantan tu, abeh matair kau hari2 msg aku tanya aku mcm mana dia nak save korang punya relationship. Eh tolong ahh bukak lah mata favour lah please.. Are you like born stupid or what?

And you're lying! You can lie to him and say that he haven't spend enough time with you? You can lie to him and say that your love for him is fading? You're so pathetic I swear. He was working. Working for 12 bloody hours every single day to save the bloody money for your bloody engagement damn it!

Your love for him was fading because kau gatal nak mampos pegi chat dengan jantan lain~

I'm tired I swear.. I'm tired for being the one who cover up your nose every single time.

I'm tired at looking at your stupid lying face now.

I hope you read this cause my heart is too heavy to speak up and talk to you.

I want you to read this so that you realise how disappointed I am with what you did to him.

I want you to read this. Cause I really can't speak, knowing that you're much elder and I've always looked at you as an example. I want you to deserve that much respect from me. I am that scared to speak up cause I don't want to ruin the whole thing. But now respect is going down the drain.

But I can't be the one supporting you now.

Trust me, from now onwards, any other guy who steps in the house.. I'll never look at him the same way I did to you ex-s. Was told you wanna know what's wrong with me acting like this towards you.

There you go. The reasons are all above.

Just try to know what you're doing now. I hope for the best.

You speak for your own lies now.

It's a good month. So I'll just be the way I am. I'm still doing fine anyway.

Adios.

Minor Change;

2011-07-06T19:04:00.002+07:00

So maybe I'm quiet these days. But that doesn't mean I'm weak.

Maybe I talk too much before, but that doesn't also mean I'm strong.

I'm restless.

I didn't know what else to do or how else to react when people ask what's really going on in my life right now. I kinda took things slowly.

Slowly, swallowing the facts which tear me into pieces, broke my broken heart.

I got weaker each day. Imagining all sorts of things that I was told.

It's too painful, too shameful for me to tell everyone this little story, that shattered my hopes.

So I'd rather not tell them all, bury this story and shame, lock it under my lips and carry it everywhere I go with more pain and agony.

But from now, all I can ever say was "I am not happy"

Neither am I now. The story goes like that each time.

Where will I go from here? That's a total different story.

I need a miracle to happen in order to bring my life back, my happiness,

my smile and my laughter.

Even I missed all that.

I need someone who can bring a brighter light into my journey.

That's the minor change I had, I became quieter.

And oh god, I had my bangs for a change.

Hope a haircut brings more luck.

But I more or less am done hoping.

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

The Break-Up.

2011-06-12T18:35:00.002+07:00

"I wish I had the guts to walk away
and forget about what we had.
But, I can’t because I know
you won't come after me,
and I guess that's what hurts the most.

Loving you was easy,
losing you was hard.
Loving you is still easy,
but knowing you are no longer mine,
is the hardest of it all.

If you could choose between life and death

you would almost rather die,

love is fun but hurts so much

the price you pay is high.

And so I say don't fall in love,
you will get hurt before your through.
You see my friend, I ought to know,
I fell in love with you."

Hi. I guessed today may be unexpected, many asked me why,

My answer was : I just had to do it.

There were many more reasons to why I did it. But those reasons will always be kept

in my heart as I know something else is not worth fighting for.

My intention was never to hurt another soul.

But this heart was broken enough to give a person false hope.

Maybe it wasn't meant to be~

There was a chance I chose not to take it.

There was happiness I chose not to have it.

I'm an idiot.

But again. I had to do it.

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

What's This About Anyway?

2011-05-31T22:00:00.004+07:00

Let's talk a little bit about films now :)

Ini cerita Cun. Hehe. Well Cun is currently my top favo

urite

film because it is, very very very.... related t

o my past.

My love at first sight, my first love was exactly like this..

Somehow I did fall for someone out there beyond my wildest imagination.

Funny how the storyline is quite similar as well. And I couldn't stop tearing seeing their story.

But the best thing about this film is a happy ending, but mine happy ending didn't came true. Or maybe it have not. Till today I hope it will.

This film is a self motivation for me. :')

Hope I'll see you soo

n I.

Now, Me n Jenny have been ranting non-st

op about the Finale on GG.

And yes it was a sad ending as well.

The one you thought who was really your true love was never yours due to some circumstancces. Well again, kind of like my life?

Sad endings in stories I can't handle really. Esp this one.

Who would have thought someone you've been with for example like 2 years or more, won't be yours forever?

Ahhhhh.. nvm this one.

Now, after all my related-stories hehehhe

feeling2 sia zie.

Nothing beats the love fro

m my sister :)

Had so much fun with her today.

Thanks kakak for dinner and many more treats. :)

Love you till the day I die... :D

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

Heartbreak.

2011-05-19T22:05:00.002+07:00

"I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had."

"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden."

Just some matters I could relate to.

It hurts me even more the more you talk to me, but that's the only way this heart is healed by missing you to much. I always wished it stays the same..

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

It Stays As A Wish~

2011-05-14T00:56:00.002+07:00

"I wish I could see through your eyes so I would know what you like to see.

I wish I knew your wishes, so I could give you everything you want. I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do, and together we could make them come true.

I wish I knew what makes you happy, so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world.

And lastly, I wish I were a cell in your blood, so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart."

To whoever who created this quote, you're truly blessed.

Nevertheless, somewhere somehow : It's just a wish.

And will always be~

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

It's All Called Love Once More.

2011-04-30T21:45:00.002+07:00

Never once I thought that everything was too fast.

Never once I'd say I regret the choice I made.

It's only been 10 days so fucking what.

I know who makes me happy and who just dont really wish to care.

But today felt different, each time you hold my hand my heart starts to

beat so fast, each time you stare into my eyes I tried to hard to look away because

that look you gave scares me.. And I meant it all in a good way.

Probably all because I am just too in love with you.. :)

And I swear the moment we went apart I'd wish you come back to me and

said you miss me already.

To my Mr. Camping, I swear I'll love you all I can.

Told you all I feel good about this r/ship. :D

Gnightssss. ♥♥♥♥

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

Spicy Meets Original?

2011-04-20T15:45:00.004+07:00

Who would have thought feelings would develop in split moments.

People may judge me for whom I chose.

But who cares?

It's the love that matter.

One week One day.

I chose this person who couldn't decide what type of

chicken I should eat at Wendy's. ;D

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

When Reality Slaps So Hard.

2011-04-07T23:18:00.002+07:00

Sometimes in life, we just gotta accept things the way it is even if it turned another way round. Things may be a little rough but sooner or later you'll get over it.

I didn't get into Poly, yet. For goodness sake, the 2nd time in my life? It's like you took 7 years of your life to work hard for Poly and got rejected twice it's like a lot more worse than being rejected in a marriage proposal.

Everyone wants the best out of them.

Even me, but I do believe that something bigger is out there for me. Insyallah. If this is the way god is testing me, I'm always accepting it with open arms. I may feel so low and down at first, but my strongest pillars are always all around me to keep on motivating me and believing in me I really thank them for that.

So much love is given out to all of them right now.

Ya Allah, I am sure you have better things for me in the future. Thank you.

We'll see how the appeal application goes first. (: I'm never gonna give up.

Well I have one thing to confess right now and I don't know how else to say things except to mylittleredblog(:

I'm sick and tired. My mind is really screwed up and I don't even wanna think about it any second from now on. Boys really screw up mind at it's highest level ah.

Eh malas ah nak cakap. It's like I've done the worst mistake or said the worst lie ever in their lives and they won't ever talk to me again. Whaddafuck much?

As far as I'm concern, I have never done anything wrong to hurt anyone's feelings.

Goodnight.

I'm totally moodless right now.

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

Back Home, Back to Reality~

2011-03-30T22:47:00.003+07:00

I'm back from that awesome trip @ Langkawi,

Although everything didn't turn out that well, I fulfilled my dreams

of taking the 'Banana Boat' ride hell yeahhhh! :D

<3 it to the max and am so satisfied with it. Now feeling lazy to upload pics to fb.

Lets puts the hols asides and gets backs to realitys. Heh.

Well ITE results is in a few hours and seeing my kambs so nervous about it makes me realise how much i miss them all, really. Kecoh ah they all! hahaha .

And surprisingly, I don't feel anything ah about these results.

Selalunya by this time I would have had the worst stomach pain ever cause of my nervousness. But I still hope for the best, insyallah. With poly results the following day, I may still not believe that ite times are over and reality slaps me in the face, yes in like 2 days my future will be revealed you know? Trust me I have yet to have a back up plan. But whatever it is, Ya Allah I pray everyday and hope for the best to make my family proud. :')

That's all I can say now. Can't think already.

Moodless.

Gnights! Will update my results soon here! :)

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

Some Hip-Hop ♥ Yaw!

2011-03-20T00:56:00.004+07:00

Today was awesome lahh.

I mean look at the pics above! Hahahaha yes.

I had more love from Sleeq like omznnggggg! Nyahahahaha!

Mosaic 2o11 was awesome shitz.

Sheikh Haikel will always be awesome on the stage.

His performance with Sleeq was doubled the awesome!

Didn't expect to see our cousins Defianto to appear and perform with him.

As a whole everything was filled with so much joyed & love.

Kakak and me nvr regretted watching Mosaic at the very last minute, heh.

Talked to sleeq, talked to cousins & sheikh haikel!

Damn great experience we will never ever forget. Hell yeahhh.

Sis, we had a great weekend!! Love yaaaaaaaaa.

19th March 2011 will be one of the bestest memory lah. (:

Alright now DAYS TO LANGKAWI : A WEEK.

Heh! Gnights folks.

p/s : Where is Mr. Hotstuff not replying my msgs? Hmmmmm.

Lots of love,

ZieSuzianah.-

HEHE NEW BLOGSKIN YAW

2011-03-18T22:57:00.004+07:00

LIKE FINALLY A BLOGSKIN THAT SUITS ME AHH. ;D

LOVE IT!

CONFIRM WILL UPDATE MORE.

HEH.

but the archives part like spoilt. Idk how to do it. Help someone?!

Call me. Hehehe!

Love,

Zie.S!

Hello Out There!

2011-03-18T20:09:00.002+07:00

It's been a long time right since I updated my blog?

Right. Too in tact with facebook and twitter and online tv series ang my Sims 3.

I seem to put aside my blog aside since the holidays.

But since i've graduated from school it's been great so far.

My time is always filled up at home ah getting fatter and fatter cause I sit in front of the laptop most of the time. Which is pretty much pathetic i know. How can I say it's great ah?! Heh.

But yeah, I may have all kinds of distractions (mostly boys issues) but my first break to my lovely kampung was awesome. Glad to distress there & catch up with my dearest family,cousins and friends. :) I'm now counting down days to the 26th March cause i'm leaving going for another holidays at langkawi. Hell yeahhhhhh! Not that I'm all super damn excited but I still need another break. Heh. Cause I need to do some shoppinggg! ;D

And after finding out that the ex has really moved on with a new girl. Well, I know people may say it's not worth thinking about it. I mean, really people? Try be in my shoes lah. Haha. Deep inside this heart is crying and in pain. But I'm still living happily cause I have awesome people who is with me every single time. Really who cares now? I don't really.

Like sha always said "It's okay zie you have a new guy as well!"

Righhhhht sha thanks. Speaking of this guy, he likes to read my blog though. So this post is dedicated specially for you. Cehhh nyampah.

Heh anyways, Mr. Hotstuff , thanks for understanding me & waiting for 1 whole year to reach me cause right now i feel it's worth knowing you. (:

Right now on my mind, the only thing i kept thinking of is my future. Cause this 31st Mar is gonna be the results for my ITE. And the next day results for Poly? If I don't go to Poly i swear I'm going to cry. Cause I am going to disappoint a whole lot of people, and also myself :( And also, I don't really haaaaave a backup plan? Unless I get married and be a housewife ah haha. But I'm not even close to having a boyfriend ahh. So forget about it. Ahhh idk really. The more I think about it, the more I pening kepala. So let's just chillax and have fun first k zie. Langkawi FIRST!

And I realise how much I miss my friends in ITE. The kambings especially :( They've been really special in my life. And if I go to poly, I just can't stand the idea of making new friends really. Arghh damn. Kambs are the reason why I graduated from ite, happy & satisfied. Cause I know I can flashback to a good memory there. And the boys in my class are as awesome as they are. They all as a whole have always been there for me and I love them, only god knows how much. Meet up soon kambs! & bros (:

That's pretty much about it. Let's start to countdown days to LGK now.. ;D

I'll see you soon bloggie!

Lot of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

Hello Friend, :)

2011-02-19T02:13:00.002+07:00

I can't believe how happier I am now with life.

Free from problems and sorrows. Only filled with laughter with my dearest friends in school, more love hangouts with my babes. Family getting more bonded.. :) Alhamdulillah~

And right now I am on Cloud 9 i must say.

Hehehe. How do I put this?

They say dreams come true.

You and I dreamt of the same thing but who would have thought that we are halfway there.

And the best thing is you really understood my heart and knew I wasn't ready for anything serious. Thanks. Hehe. Looking forward to more~

Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

But Do I Still Love You?

2011-01-31T22:06:00.002+07:00

I've lost all the strength I had to text you, so I hope you're reading this..

Seems like nothing changes after this break-up.

You can tell me now you still love me.

You can tell me tomorrow again, that you will still love me no matter what.

But no matter what, I will still tell you I dont care if you say you love me now.

You love me huh, but where were 10 days before the break-up?

What were you doing 10 days bfore that thursday night. Were you loving someone else?

Were you putting more pressure to yourself? And I know by this time you will say,

'I WAS WAITING FOR YOU' Waiting for me for what?! To tell you 'look i'm sorry i love you please dont leave me cause you really win my heart now' for god's sake NO!

If you still love me Muhammad Amir bin Salleh, try harder. What do you think I was doing?

You think I was out there partying without you? Ask all my friends how much I've been controlling myself not to mention about you cause I dont wanna end up crying.

But today, right now I have to cry. I dont wanna bring this matter up again anymore.

Fyi I was right here, also waiting for you to actually be a man and talk to me, clear things out, win my heart and love for you again. But 10 days of silence is not funny sia. Dont you think it's happening again? Previously a month now 10 days next time apa? Hah, rilek sua next time~

Sayang sayang tapi duduk diam2 update facebook status step macho. Step 'I still love my ex-girlfriend' BUT DID NOTHING TO HER. You've been ranting about 1sy February and it's gonna be 2 years. IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE 2 YEARS IF YOU WOULD HAVE WIN MY HEART AGAIN. But it's all too late now.. You may tell me you couldn't accept the fact that I wanted to break up. How do you think I feel? How??

And yes, the people around me will always say 'just talk to him and clear things out, everything will be fine' I've been initiating all the talk first for I dont know how many countless times. You will jolly well know that we will end up quarreling again each and every time. And aku da penat buat tu semua untuk kau. Astaghfirullahalazim~ Suka hati kau lahh.

Like I said again, It could have been 2 years if you tried harder. Hearing the word love from you dont exist in me anymore, I've died from your love.

Ya Allah give me strength and power to face this part of my life.

And thank You for giving the bestest family & especially friends who gave me their full attention and always been there for me. They are the greatest gifts for Me that I ever had from you.

Amin.

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

it's time it's time

2011-01-20T20:05:00.002+07:00

everyone should know.

that we havent been talking. everyone should know that i already gave up on you.

yes. and i think you are too.

you changed your fb name.

you said you are moving on all by yourself now.

i guess you have given up too.

things weren't right in the first place.

it's even pointless to talk to you now in any way.

so you take care boy. i dont wanna have anything to do with you, anymore.

i need a long, long break...

goodnight.

Why Do You Have To Do This To me?

2010-12-21T21:08:00.003+07:00

Been busy with projects, and now the start of my attachment.

Couldn't find time to blog but I had to this time.

Cause I dont even know how to talk to you right now.

Our conversations seems to bring quarrels and fights every single moment.

And truly, deeply I am sorry for avoiding you the past few.. weeks? i guess~

And I am so sure that till today at this moment, that you havent realise how upset I was about your behaviour since our last date?

Tell me who wanted to watch tron so much and slept throughout the whole movie?

Tell me boy, hah. That is number one thing i'm pissed off with. $6 is a lot! You can go a long way with ENAM DOLLAR. Number two, you kept quiet after the movie?

And throughout our whole journey back home? You fikir kelakar? And make me like a stupid asshole kat situ terdiam ajeee? Then you act like as if nothing happened?

Eh omg, I know you are tired. I know you havent slept. But, BUT! Did I ask you not to sleep??

Did I?? Emo sikit, tak tido. gaduh sikit, tanak tido. banyak fikiran. itu ini semua tak tido..

So siapaa yang bersalah ni? I ke? You boleh tanya I kenapa lagi?

You tak tido, tapi you nak jumpa I. And you jumpa I, you buat muka penat. You tido dalam wayang. Nak makan pon senyap. Ehhhh? I pun sekolah k. I pun penat.

You accident, I penat.. I pegi jugak pasir ris tengok you. Ada I buat muka? Ada I diam?

Ehhh seriously ahhhhh, bila nak berubah? Dari bila you cakap you akan berubah you akan berubah. Now I SHALL SAY THIS TO YOU : NI DAH DECEMBER? MACAM MANAAA?

You said you will change. But things get worser. And I feel nothing.

I feel nothing cause I am so used to getting all this from you.

But how long do you think I can survive? How long? Can you survive like this?

You thought this will be nothing.

But have you really think it through? People will say to me: Kau call dia je lah zie kau call dia je lah zie kau call dia je lah zie.. AKU DAH PENAT.

How am I suppose to feel ? Tell me please. :'(

I dont think I wanna do this anymore.. You saying sorry nowadays, feels like nothing.

Cuz I know this sorrow will return in no time.

Think about this.

I need a hug. :(

Zie Suzianah.-

Pegi Mampos Sudah!

2010-12-03T09:37:00.002+07:00

fuck. aku sumpah dah bingit giler dgn kau.
pentingkan DUIT satu hal, tapi perangai mcm ccb.
Jgn mcm pukimak ah sia. Kau dah bebual dgn dia gitu mcm, skrg kau bebual ngan aku mcm tkde pape. Tak mau step takot gaduh. Aku tak heran.. I even feel like slapping you stupid face right now. I dont have the rights to say all this to you but you made me do it.

You and your bloody family satu2 perangai sama.
MACAM BIG FUCK!
KALAU DA PERANGAI CIBAI CIBAI JUGAKKKK!!!!

Here comes the big "P"

2010-11-22T18:55:00.002+07:00

Procastinating.

I've been sucha lazy bum asshole since school re-opened in october idk why.

Like really..

My school assignments (msaccess) have been delayed every single day every single time.

Now that it's due in 2 days time? And I'm still not moving, still at part 3.

I'll be Miss LOST tmrow.

Seriously, even came to class this morning with too much things in my head.

I hate being like this but I dont know what can drive/motivate me to be how i used to be.

Issit the atmosphere? Issit my room always calling me to sleep? Or is it just me?

My cca, omgoodness. I havent been a good general secretary, i mean F YEAH!

The cca's database has all been messed up.

And its gonna be a really big messed up fight soon.

But i dont care.

Boyf and me, will start having arguments and fights.

If we dont meet for almost a week. Like today especially.

And again, I dont know why.

I dont know the reason why I'm being like this all the time. Perangai gemok.

I can even cry now thinking of how much fucking time i've wasted throughout all these weeks.

I wish I could turn back time. I've reflected of what I've been doing all these while.

And its just nothing. Go to school, home, laptop, sleep. That's all? Weekends, keluar?

Siol ahhhhhh life pathetic siak. G mamps ahh.

Malas ah nk layan :(

Seriously ahhhhh?

2010-11-10T21:15:00.002+07:00

Why? Why do things turn out the other way round..
Today all i was looking forward to was meeting you, giving you that letter i typed,
and hoping everything will be fine in the end.
But everything i thought would be nice was a mistake.
You sounded as if, omg..

Seriously? you shouted at me?
Like that bad..? Ehhh, I wish ahh. I wish I could copy+paste the things i typed in that letter.
And let you wake up, and see what I've wrote.
But again you shouted dear? Really?
I had no intentions to make you angry in the first place.
I called you the second time and thought you would be okay..
I said things nicely. My friends insisted me to call you and apologized,
I tried, I called you, and seriously, like really? you shouted?
You fucking raised your voice? Myy ohh myyyy,
See how much feelings inside me has dropped down intp the drain.

We've argued so much since you told about that issue..
Idk why uh.. Really..
I couldnt help myself to stop crying. Enough,enough.

EHHH WHATEVER FUCK LAH.
JUST MEET ME SOON AND GET THIS LETTER LAH K. BYE.

21 months and boring?

2010-11-01T18:37:00.002+07:00

first of all,

i wish some people knew that i was talking about them.

i mean, why do you have to hide things with someone whom you grew up with?

like i said in my 'bitching' post, idontreallycareabouthowmuchmoneyouhave.

and i dont wish to have it. but it's pointless to hide.

and when you accidentally said it its like you are bursting out the world'd biggest secret.

whatever~ act cold act cold, here we come.

alrighteyyy let's put aside bitching problems.

HAPPY 21 MONTHS to my lovely and most loveable boyfriend Muhammad Amir,

i know things turned out wrong today..

but i promise i'll make it up to you soon, this friday?

i love you and no one else will love you like I do.

dont be highly affected of what people do.

we've got our own ways, our own style of making each other happy.

see you soon darl. :)

love,

ziesuzianah.-

I L Y .

2010-10-20T19:54:00.003+07:00

hello buncit,

i miss you so much.

and i love you.

let's spend more time with each other pleaseeeeeee:)

see you sooooon!

anndddd anndd btway,

the most addictive song now.

Paparazzi Pagi, ria's jingle. love you sleeq.

SleeQ - Unreleased Tracks, Sountracks, Covers, Etc by SleeQ

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

GivingUp,Hopeless.

2010-10-12T19:32:00.002+07:00

Today I really feel like I have lost a big chunk of responsibilities in me.

Bye.

I wanna give up!!!

:'(

SleeqOhSleeq :)

2010-10-05T18:09:00.002+07:00

Hey Sleeq, i dont know why when I watched this, I feel like this is the most meaningful performance ever.
You guys did extremely well with this 7Days song,
and especiaaaaally the way alyph rap, i can cry no joke. :(
I wish I was there...
Probably the bestest, ever.
Thanks.. I'll always love you.

5 more days to my big day.
4 more days to the celebration at the chalet.
I'm excitedd.. In fact, VERYYYY!
argggggh I cant wait. Despite all this, results this thurs, lucks uh zie. heh!
:D

Lots of Love,
ZieSuzianah.-

MyMoviestar:)

2010-09-28T19:21:00.001+07:00

SleeQ - Moviestar (Official Music Video) from SleeQ on Vimeo.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS SLEEQ FINALLY!!!!!!!!

I LOVE BOTH OF YOU TO THE MAXIMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM. :DDDD

AWESSOMMEEEEEEEEEEE VIDEOOOO :DDDDD

Bitching about you, again?

2010-09-21T18:24:00.002+07:00

I can be a bitch if you really want me to.

Sometimes the way people act, talk or dont say at all cant pissed off another.

And these people dont realise what they have done makes another

girl be the bitch that they have never seen before.

Yes. You make me bitch about you.

You don't know how much effort i've tried to put up with the way you talk to me,

treat me or whatever you did to me.

I hate it. In fact, we hate it.

I hate you for being who you are right now.

You dont go around stucking up and bossing around about how much MONEY you have.

Or maybe you dont huh?

But the what you did, what you said ; tells everything about yourself girl.

Come on, grow up.

Dont be sucha pampered little queen. Many people have been realising that you are one hell of a girl. You put you pretty pussy face and act like "ms-i-am-innocent-and-i-dunnoe-i-did-that".

Yes that's how stuck up you are.

And this is how bitchy I am. Say all you want.. But I dont care what you have.

And I dont wanna own what YOU own. Cause I am one bitch, who grew up as someone who dont go around bossing about what I have. I shareeee girl. I give love to people. I careeee!

In fact, you wanna own everything that I wanted ryte ? To hell with ya!

Nobody is noticing that cause I am your one and only victim.

Enough said. I dont know how long I'm gonna put up with this.

yourone&only,

-Zie.

Some Kind Of Wonderful Nineteenth Month ! :D

2010-09-03T22:30:00.002+07:00

What more could I ask for. Thanks love... Thanks for the chocolates and the cutest card that has fireworks in it! Hahaha. You're super sweeeeeet.

You've never fail to win my heart. :D And this is the reason why I love you so much.

Although its been rough for us the past few weeks, nothing else matters but your love towards me.. And this celebrates our 1 year 7 months together.

Once again, thank you sweets :)

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah

I Need _______ ?

2010-09-02T16:38:00.003+07:00

Love,Relationships,Trust,Commitments, can they really last? Sometimes i wonder.

Of all the good things you had with the ones you love, is this all for real, REAL ?

I havent been myself lately. Especially today.

Classmates have been asking, 'zie are you okay?'.

Frankly i'm not. I wasnt too sure myself why I am keeping quiet.

I've been doing a lot of thinking. I'm actually making myself confuse.

YES, that's the word.. CONFUSED.

I really dont know what I want for myself.

I really dont know what makes me happy.

And I dont know if everything I went through was real enough to

keep me going on each, and every single day.

I'm probably just too scared thinking of what is going to happen to me in the future

if I were to make only one decision. I'm not good at making decisions.

I'm not good at listening to advices. I'm not even good at following my heart.

All these things I thought of bring me silence, and tears..

I wanna get up there and tell myself I can do it, but I cant.

Cause I dont even know what I really want.

I can say all these shits that I have been through is fake~

19 months of ups,downs,love,laughter,sadness,care,happymoments,celebrations..

Can they really last?

I just keep having doubts.

I dont know really.

What if.. I lose it ?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I dont know really. I can just drop down and cry and faint if I want to..

Nowadays people are getting more and more sensitive!

I cannot tolerate all this..

I probably cant accept changes in life.. :'(

I dont knowwww, I'll probably be ok the next day.

But deep down I'm still thinking.. Still thinking..

What is it that I really want?

i feel like our world's been infected

and somehow you left me neglected

we've found our lives been changed

babe, you lost me.

-Christina Aguilera.

Lots of Love,

-ZieSuzianah.

RamadhanMoments(:

2010-08-24T16:55:00.002+07:00

First of all, Last Night..
Iftar w ISB was crazyyy. looking forward to many good moments with them..
Thanks all. I had a blastful times.
they made my ramadhan happen. :)

Ramadhan has been a little bit pressured for me.
I can truly say I'm not being myself and i simply
have no reason for that.. :(
I've been sick for a week but nobody seem to care.

Work has been great but it's making me lazy,
hahahaaha. today is the last day but I skipped.
Cuz i'm tired..
Again, nobody seem to understand..

To Muhammad Amir bin Salleh please read this it's for you :
I dont know what's your problem with me.
I dont know what is the issue u have towards me.
You seem to be so cold and then u say I didnt do this,
I didnt do that. I didnt text you?
I didnt want to msg you? I am not free to meet you?
How come you're doing this to me..
It's not being fair. I've been sick the whole week.
U seem not to understand. What else do you expect me to do?
U pegi sini, pegi sana, keluar malam balik pagi.
tidur pagi bangun petang2.. pernah ke I bising.
U tak msg, pernah ke I bising.. I dont understand you..
Every single day we must quarrell I cannot take it already.
Everything that is happening to us now seem to be like the old days.
I hate the old days. I fucking hate the old days.
Dont make me hate it now.. Please... Settle the problem with me..
Dont run away.. Dont hide things from me...
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya Allah, give me strentgh to control my anger.
I hate myself.
erghghhsgjnsj, fuck!

Zie.-

happiness,moments, are cherished.

2010-08-07T23:43:00.003+07:00

i've been doing so much thinking these few days and i feel that there is a need i should blog today. my life was never this happy before when i reflected. and my happiness = growing fatter. i swear. the fats in my body is unbelievable. hahahaha. k nvm that, i dont care. all these happiness was thanks to my beloved family,friends and dearest..>friends at ite, give blastful moment every now and then. they hold on to me every now and then i'm having problems with my projectworks.thanks guys.. girlfriendss, are awesome! they have nvr failed to shower their love and have never failed to support me from the past,now and then.. i love u ladies. andd my dearest Amir, completes the whole package. makes me happy throughout the whole time i'm with him and i will never forget any moments of it.. thanks love :)not forgetting my dearest cousins who never stop giving their love and care to me.. our time together will always be great and aweesomeeeee!! :D weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

time flies so fast its already august ? and i cant believe puasa is this coming wednesday! argghh i cant wait. i cant wait for more blessing moments... give me strength ya allah. i am really looking forward to my pom presentation, my attachment at fairmont hotel the following day... Gonna be very busy but i believe i will manage the time to spend time with the people I Cherish Most :D

many more new things are happening to me.. :)
and i'm lovin it... :D

Yours Truly,
ZieSuzianah

thereasonibreathe(:

2010-07-16T21:19:00.002+07:00

Stones
Heavy like the love you've shown
Solid as the ground we've known
And I just wanna carry on

Now I just wanna let you know
Earthquakes can't shake us
Cyclones can't break us
Hurricanes can't take away our love

Our love is like a Pyramid..

Baby, I love you more than I love myself.

Let's just go through this journey together,

whatever people may say or think about us.. :)

Take care of yourself..

School is being sucha a pain in da asssssss.

So wtfark. I dont care also..

I gained few greaaat friends at least?

It's time for a short break.

K.L here we gooo tmrow! :D

Love you peoples.

Miss you Love.

Lots of Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

moments after moments.

2010-06-27T22:49:00.003+07:00

worldcup has been a total bitch now
cause it's annoying my life! HAHA.
cause every single game which i thought would turn out good,
will be a effing boringggg one.
andd a game which i have more confidence it will suck big time.
so that's it, worldcup has been a bitch.
especially these round of 16.
HAHA. Portugal baby has made me so proud so far. :)
All ze best ! :D Fabio Coentrao, love.

I just came back from kampung with mom&dad.
It was nice to see all my cousins..
With their new-born babies, like saaaaaaaaaaaaad per. )):
Andd my last n youngest girlfriend there is gonna be
someone's wife in 2 weeks. ))):
there goes all my good old times with them. :(
not much to say lahhh.

I miss my baby so much it can kill me.
He's been busy with work.
And I hope I could meet him tmrow
to do some shopping ;)

Tuesdayyyyyy, MBarrage with ISB mates.
:) Looking Forward, jyeahh.

One more week of enjoyment and it's
back to hell. xD HAHAS !
Nyes...

Love,
ZieSuzianah.-

2010-06-13T19:00:00.002+07:00

let's start talkinggg.

holidays i am sooo happy plus bored.

hahaha.

cause it always happen.

when you tend to wait for holidays, u'll end up with no plans.

but whatever.

i've got plans tmrow with baby.

yess. baby..

Muhammad Amir bin Salleh.

nothing to be shocked about.

cause it's him that i cant get rid of from the start.

now that we're back together, i couldnt ask for anything else.

whatever he did in the past will never affect me.. :)

i love you mir see you tomorrow :)

school has been a lot of fun this term and i missed it already.

projects are still not complete and hope reports are done

by school re-opens. :D

lemme enjoy my break.

take care all ! :D

lots of love,

ZieSuzianah.-

what's there to say?

2010-05-19T17:52:00.002+07:00

too much to say,

too little time~

where can i ever begin?

been really busy with school nowadays

with tonnes of projects and assignments..

and trying very2 hard to maintain my

reputation in sch as many opportunities

are seeking in for us to grabbbb !

and getting to noe the bestest guy you could ever know

throughout you entire life has been

the bestest experience for me~

♥D, i hope one day you'll be mine.

If it's wait that u want, then i will.. :)

Family has also been great.

Couldnt be better.

I just gotta keep my stress level down..

If not, no smiling faces from me anymorreee~

T.c lovely readeers!

Love,

ZieSuzianah.-

educationisblossom:D

2010-04-29T18:59:00.002+07:00

that's it right there.

the one that i've always dreamt of..

the one i've always wanted since i thought i could make use of it..

i love my parents for my new baby(:

thanks a lott..

school has been beyond my wildest imagination..

projects are coming in = truckloads.

serioussly, every single day there will be a presentation

without fail..

datelines are all out, i'm definitely gonna be busy within

the next two months..

classmates has been AWESOME!

ziela and ash is being sucha dear to me~

and cca club has been running smoothly..

this is all coolshaites. :D

cant wait for weekends to near.. :)

got lots to doo maaan...

that's all for now.

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

what is this called ?

2010-04-24T00:40:00.002+07:00

how was i suppose to react?

omgawd,

i cant help but cry..

and this is for the second time. ):

it was that point of time i was falling

in love with you all over again..

but now u tell me this..

i cant help it.

i need to control myself.

a lot of thing changes now..

serves you right, Suzianah.

haisshh..

Sleeeq tmrow wit my love, sha(:

cant waittt..

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

returned and revived.

2010-04-10T00:14:00.003+07:00

i've returned from jogjakarta,

and it has been a trulyy amazingg journey..

i had a blasst maan..

but i cant seem to upload the freaking picss at fb.

neverrminddd~

hmmmm,

holidays are near to end soon and it's back

to school!

yeay much ?

ahaha i cant wait.

yeaarr 2 baybeehh..

i miss my bitches and these weekends is a mustt to go OOUUUTT..

and to my dearest friend _____ ,

i cant believe i had another big fight with you again.

i didnt realise how much u have changed..

u've got nothing to lose.

but i have lost you..

i guess sometimes dreams are just meant to be dreamt..

i've learnt to let go..

i wont bother you anymore..

u've made my egoistic level increase..

and from today onwards, u made me realized that

wishes are not meant to be fulfilled.

u take care boy.

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

results? nahhh~ jogjakarta, PLEASE !

2010-03-30T21:49:00.006+07:00

dearest readers,

it's been quite a while since i updateddd..

hmmmm..

been quite busy with some cca thangs..

organizing outings, reckeeing places, photoshoots.. :D

i am lovingg this alreadyyy..

and get to meet my bitches during the weekends,

played monopoly..

and all of us went bankrupt.

ahahahaha.

jenga, uno, stress.. semua lahh.

watched adnan sempit..

cinta ixora..

never ending fun and laughterr and lovee.. :)

guess what!

it has made me realised yesterdayy,

that my exam results areee TOMORROW AFTER 8am!!

but i dont really careeeee cause,

i just cant wait for THURSDAYYY..

jogjakarta hereeee mee commmeeeeee((:

and cant wait to shop wif sissssss tmrow eveningg :))

anways, results are results after all..

i'm still quite nervous..

let's take the sleeping test.

if i am still up after 2am,

means i cant sleeeeep!

i might not be blogging few days coming..

but do still check it out!

there might bee a surpriseeeee.

take care and have fun everybodyy..

enjoy life while you still can:D

love,

Zie Suzianah

straightothepoint, please?

2010-03-26T13:07:00.003+07:00

girlfriends have been sucha great help these few dayz.

i love them more than anyone else do~

especially ytday night..

ahahaha. it turned out to be a funny thingg..

yes boy, indeed u gave me a shocked!

for turning up out of nowhere..

i wonder what you really want from me?

like my girls say,

get straight to the point, please?

hahahaha.

anywayssss,

it was good seeing you yesterday.

it's been a longg time~

ahaha..

arrgghhh, weekend plans are cancelled..

damnit, nak buat apa eh ??

meeting sis in 4 hours :)

seeee ya later!

sixmoredays,love.. :D

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

be mine forever, please?

2010-03-23T00:39:00.003+07:00

people say,

it takes us to realise that we need and love that person

so much only when he/she is not there with us anymore.

right now, at this moment..

i am going through that situation.

and i hate myself for not being with you right now.

and i hate being the last person to know.

cuz if i am, i would be crying only tears of joy..

and sharing these moments with you..

i am so pissed off i got to know the hard way.

i just want to be there with you, boy.

but it's holding me back.

you do already have someone there..

take me back, please?

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

perhaps next time guys.

2010-03-21T18:04:00.003+07:00

sometimes the worst part about planning something

is having people to co-operate..

honestly, i hate planning.

babygirls, this has nothing to do with you all.

it's pointless getting all excited for an event

when no one actually listens to what you want..

so fuck off.

mom, sometimes i get sick and tired of our freaking family.

it has always been us, us and us..

planning every single freaking thing..

i dont have any problems with that.

but it's the co-operation i have an issue with..

and it's pointless having the thought of loving them

so much but all they do is heck the fucking care out of it.

fuck off.

i get fucked up and sick and tired to attend any events now.

cause you guys simply don't care.

i just need my freaking holidays to jogja, please?

it's time for a break..

a real break.

these holidays are getting pathetic forr mee!

urgghhh~

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

2010-03-18T19:08:00.002+07:00

everything about todayy was superrr funn and crazyy.

i cant ask for more joy and happiness except today..

and i need to repeat this over and over and over again..

so my babygirls, Salyieha, Nurul Ain, Hennie Fitriani and Rahdznitazura..

went out for a picnic..

which turns out to be a "wet picnic" !

hahahahaha..

somehow or rather we shifted back and forth

to the shelter but in the end it rains heavilyy..

so much for the confirm ahh die singgah jer k zie.

korang yang start dulu wif d singgah thingyy~

ahahahaha.

well it sucked at first,

but in the end we all seem to enjoy the rain

and went singing in the rain..

somehow or rather distracted by "wak hussein!"

heeeheeee...~

so they decided to go off after the rain stopped..

and get themselves dry at my place..

so we slacked at my room..

watched youtube,camwhored

and more laughters...

it was 4+ when ogy text mee..

so i pleaded to come over at my place

to surprise the rest of them..

cause i really wanted them to meet ogy..

and she came!!

went into the room and shocked the rest

of my babygirls.. i just looove that very

moment mannn.

kire korang macam pekik penuh riang dan gembiraa ahh..

haahahha. nyampahh takk??

so i am glad and happy and so touched plus

lots and lots and lots of feelings!

seeing us re-unite again..

and finally, the 6 of us meets again!

there u go people..

i just ♥ Hennie Fitriani, Rohzeanna, Siti Noor Saleha,

Nur Rahdznitazura and Nurul `Ain.. !!!!

i need to see more of u girlsssssssssss, pleaaaaaaaaaaaasee!!

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

it was a painful day indeed ?

2010-03-13T20:26:00.007+07:00

i finally get to watch Dear John with sha(:

yess ziela, aku da tengokk !

aahahaha..

indeed, it's worth 10 bucks.

sampai tkde orang koyakkan ticket kite !

haizzzz.. i can't describe the movie,

it was superb):

sadlyy superb... haisss ..

if i were to reflect everything in that movie,

it will definitely bring me to tears.

and today is basically about being random,

from wearing what clothes,

to meeting weird people..

and also bumping into SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEQ !!!!

arrgghhhh~

alyph♥

damnnn hot kaper die !

woohohohoho!!

and many other things that had happened which

should not be mentioned~

hahahahaha..

i had good times wit sha todayy(:

thanks love.

now crashing at her place.

cause kakak is not at home :-(

i dun wanna sleep alone since that

terror incident !

that's all folks.

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

go to hell, please ?

2010-03-13T00:43:00.002+07:00

u are probably one of the biggest bustards i have

ever met in my whole entire wide life.

seriously, from the start..

if i've known that u are just using me,

i wished i have never ever met you..

thanks dude ~

thanks for that little love moment u gave me.

screw you for giving me much hope..

screw you for making me miss you like crazy~

so now where are you ?

ditching some other girls ??

seriously i thought it was real!

damnn~ u've given me much disappointment boy,

thanks a lot..

each time this happened to me, i grew

stronger..

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

2010-03-11T15:48:00.002+07:00

F R E E D O M .

YESSAAAHHHH ~

final exams are FINALLY over !

and i feel so free and relieved !!

it has been so stressful and i finally

can get long sleep.

eheheheheee..

woohooo!

one month of full enjoyment~

i loooooooooooooove it~

can't wait to spend time with my babygirls,

my families and my bitches !

its great to start off the hols wif my dearest ISB-ians.

thanks zielababy,akmal,jiawei,wan and danial..

for coming over to fulfill your promises

and watched santau~

had a nice time (:

*winks*

more good times and great days coming !

but its so sad to be broke

at a time like this~

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

stars and moons will still be there..

2010-03-07T22:31:00.004+07:00

what is it that you want actually?
what is it that you need from me?
what is your whole motive??

it all started with a feeling.
and now it has slightly turned into something else..
giving hope, much ?
i hope so not..
i was ready when i realise u were the potential person.
but when u said u weren't ?
it feels like hope isnt there for me..

everytime i see your face, the time stops.
and the world belongs to only me and you.
but looks like its only a dream to me..
clarify my doubts.
i need to knoww.

what is it that u really want??
i promise not to miss you anymore..

love,
Zie Suzianah.-

2010-03-06T09:43:00.003+07:00

i had crazy days with sha on thursday and friday..

crazzyy laughing days..

yes. we laughed from the time we met until the time

we separate from each other~ ahahaha.

and busy prepaing some things for today!

woohooo i so cant wait.

for this thaaangg..

ahahahaha.

gossshh..

and finaaallyyyyy..

i get to meet S. (:

toing2 ~

hahahahaha. kay giler.

cant wait to see my bitces laterrr!

weeewiit!

love,

Zie Suzianah.-

just for my anak karim (:

2010-03-02T19:35:00.010+07:00

Dear Nur Ashikin,

hahahahaha

i know how it feels to lose a love.

i know how u feel.

i know how much it hurts.

but at that moment, when i was going through all those feelings..

i knew u were there for me.

i knew you can console me.

i knew i can turn to you.

all those tears just lasted for a moment.

cause i believe i am better and much more happier,

with you and ziela around..

now this happened to you,

might as well u think about what i say..

u've got me..

u've got ziela..

nothing else matter rite ?

i love you twin.

stay strong..

ingat allah~

(kay aku diammm ahahahaha)

lots of love, hugs, and hugs.. ahaha,

Zie Suzianah.-

thanks moon(:

2010-02-28T19:51:00.002+07:00

everything happens for a reason.

this has been stucked to me throughout my lifetime..

i thank god to have me meet my babygirl, lea again..

i miss her so much i let tears say it all.

thanks to ain n ita. (:

i cant wait for that one day where the 6 of us

are laughing again n again..

i cant wait~

final exams are in one week,

and the pressure is gainingg..

i've been taking the time during this weekends

to study by myself..

and take any free time i have to go study..

i cant wait for the long break.

i cant wait for this semester to enddd ~

i cant wait for my holidaysss..

i cant wait for second year~

rawwwwwwwwrrrrrr..

i cant wait to smell successssss.

and i need money, please ?

ahaahhaa.

today was quite emotional for me..

but the moon always makes me realise,

that everything happens for a reason..

love,

Zie Suzianah

2010-02-24T17:53:00.002+07:00

i couldnt ask for much more happiness
besides this day.
because i have officially completed my very2
important projects..
tps and hra presentations are done.
and i couldnt be more reliefed~

i want to make a special thanks to my lovely babes,
Ash n Ziela..
for being there all the time.
and thanks to you guys,
our presentations was outstanding~
i couldnt thanks you girls enough
and i love you both to the core.
I am gonna miss my Creative Trends, & P.A.W.S (:

i am now going to concentrate on my studies.
with the exams coming up around the corner~
focus kayyy semua!

and Mohd Afiq,
thanks for your understanding.. :)

eh sial uhh~ asal aku bebual dah macam letter writing.
kay bye semuaaaa!

i love you allllllllllllllllll !!

love,
Zie Suzianah

2010-02-22T21:25:00.003+07:00

things are getting a bit stressful this week
for two presentations,
back to back.
and a mock exam on friday.
tmrow is HRA..
and i am nervous + excited.
ahahaha.

i've been so busy i dun remember what is what
and which is which.
kay zie ape kau merepek.

but most importantly !
I Miss Mohd Afiq (:

we so need to meet up sooooon~
bottle tree park please? :)
imy so much.

love,
Zie Suzianah

2010-02-18T21:42:00.002+07:00

my feelings are playing around with me..

wat is it that i need?

wat is it that i want?

bring me to the skies, take me to the moon..

show me that you love me.

take my hand and fly away..

lots of love,

Zie Suzianah.-

2010-02-18T20:18:00.002+07:00

life couldnt be much more happier today for me.
thanks to my babes ziela & ash,
who have always been there with me every single time..
cause we have officially submitted our TPS Project
on time.
which was officially completed at 2:30am in the morning.
i dont know how i can tahan~
but i managed.

i can now sleep soundly at least for one day.
cause tmrow i got to get my butt up back for HRA.
ya allah~
please make me do much better for this project.
i hope my group makes the best out of it.

i have to prepare presentation slides for my TPS now.
which is this coming wednesday~
and presentation for HRA.
which is this coming thursday~
wowwww.

and today, we've completed our SVE CA3 on the dot as well.
i really deserve a good night sleep today.

i am up for this mann~
i wanna achieve my dreams..
ohhh pleaaase make me! (:

special thanks to A as well.
for being there, and care for me.. (:

lots of love,
Zie Suzianah.

2010-02-16T21:52:00.002+07:00

somebody who loves you,
tells you he likes you in your face.

somebody who loves you,
treats you just about everything even though their
wallet is almost empty..

somebody who loves you,
has a lot of things in common with you..

somebody who loves you,
sends sweet messages..

somebody who loves you,
cant let you go when its time to leave..

somebody who loves you,
calls you 5 minutes after you left..
just to say he misses you already.

my holidays has been great so far.
thanks A, for taking time with mee. :)
back to school tmrow..
tonnes of work maaan~

lots of love,
Zie Suzianah.-

2010-02-15T12:02:00.002+07:00

Heeellooooo peeeps.
Currently at Rahayu's place~
slept over for two nights alr wif dem bitches~
had a blastful weekends..
mom n dad is away for kampungg~

saturday~
met Someone..
whom i know in less than 24 hours.
and i think he's nice.
probably just one of my ttm.
Thanks A.
u've been very nice to me~
how come i didnt meet u last time?
hahahaha.
there's always a hikmah behind everything~
and as always, during the night wif bitches was greaat.
we watched santau & damn it was gooooood.

sundayy~
waaaasss quite pathetic.
went back wif sis to get some more clothes.
went out again and had pizza hut~
eheeheee.
it was nice! Ariel the waiter, goooorrrrgeouusss!
ahaahas.
head to Civic later @ nite and met the bitches againn..
our hotspot is getting a bit lame uhhh~
but i had a small valentine's surprise for them..
heehee. glad they love it~ :D

up till today, i'm still here at Rahayu's crib.
still bitching wif the bitches~
hahahaha.
time flies so fast~
mom is coming back today,
and i got only one day left for the hols..

projects are due very soon.
i havent start a thaaaang ya'll.
grrrrr~ nvm. hols is hols~

SAYANG MY BITCHES!

lots of love,
-zie.

2010-02-11T22:43:00.002+07:00

i couldnt be more happier today.
thursday was pretty awesome~

Valentine's Day was great.
thanks girl.
appreciate it~
heehee.

web-camming with Babygirl Rohze now.
and i cant wait to meet them tmrow!
super cant wait.
see u all tmrow aytessss. :)

nytes people.
tmrow's friday, relax~

love,
zie.-

2010-02-04T20:31:00.003+07:00

boy, watever i saw today,
may triggered me, may make me teared.
but all that was just for that one little moment.
all that was simply, just a reaction~

oh i am so not jealous ?
so please, stop these immature bullshits.
be it true or not,
i realised how much i dun give a fuck damn care.

i've got so many better things to do rather than
looking at you or stalk you . .
i realised how many more important people i should think
about besides you..
we may be friends for the moment.
as much as how today has affected me,

i should consider even being friends with you.
grow up, children. it's 2010.
as i said,
i know where i stand, with or without you.

i cant wait to bake cupcakes for the pre-wedding..
gonna be busy this weekends.
hope to update real soon. (:

love,
zie.-

2010-02-01T15:46:00.002+07:00

wargh. its like finally, after so longg..
i get to touch my laptop for a real, long time.

this week have been very hectic for me
and a never ending waking up early every single day.
especially weekends..
i had to wake up at 5 and prepare for beach fiesta.
reporting time 730 sia wat do u expect. grrrr~
but i'm glad its over and done.
i had great fun..
bumped into babygirl Rohze and we both broke down..
finally i realise how much i need my girls. ):
she has a bf like i am omfg so happy for her.. xD
ily babe. tooo much.
bumped into someone else expectedly.
haisss. its a sad day for us today, 1st Feb 2010.
we would have been togetha for a year..
but its not fated man~ nvrmindd.. haisss.
met my sistas ziela n lin..
hope u girls had fun wif namirah as well. :D
so tiring day. me n sha left ard 4+.
i manage to get home to have a nice shower,
before me n fam left for movies(thespynextdoor)
i swear u guys had to watch it..
its a marvellous night after all. (:

the next day, waking up at 815?
to watch piala ilham dipersembah.
its dikir barat guys~
after so long.. i finally get to watch..
missed it maan~
i had a great day wif my loved&dearestest one..
thanks babes. and thanks kak 4 everything :D
so it kinda ended late. we reached hm ard 11+
and i did the icings for ziela's cupcakes.
planned not to go for hra..
and to come for ca..

hectic eh? two days of sleeping late,
and waking up early.
so here's the consequence.

i set my alarm for school at 8.05..
snoozed twice till 8.15 and off my alarm telling myself to wake up.
i dunnoe wat happen, but the next think mom woke me up
and i saw it 920am?
and my CA is at 10. i freaked out and panicked until i scolded ash.
argghhh~ i hate it when i'm late for sumthing real important.
its 945 and i really look i'm fainting until mom gave me extra money
to take the cab.
and i was effing reluctant to take it cause i dun like using people's money
for something i did wrong. but i'm left wif no choice..
i got the cab at 10.. and did my best for the CA.
but i knew half of it was crap... haissss.

i was glad ziela's small surprise was a success.
altho a bit messy..
sampai lupa nk erase lines dlm card? mcm mane?
glad she likes it..

and i had my ex-co interview later in d day..
arrghhh.. and aku nervous to the max..
i dunnoe.
i want to be an ex-co,
but i am not prepared for more hectic days man..
i'll do it k.
insyallah..
i can. wif akmal saiful n mus around. :)
my pillar of strength.. nyahaha.
i need some songs guys..

this week will be even busier~
i'll blog when i'm free guys.
see ya'll soon!

love,
zie.-

2010-01-18T19:31:00.002+07:00

today has been great with ziela adreannena.

idk why, she may think this is random.

but today i felt a sense of close-ness with her.

she was there the whole day wif me..

and listening to my current fam problem now.

thanks babe, for being there. i really appreciate it. (:

u're a great friend.

i am now in greater depression than ever.

cause there is too many for me to think about.

and the fam problem adding in my head,

i cant stop thinking..

and havent had enuff, peaceful, rest.

i need a good break.

please pass fast january..

2010 did not started out so good so far.

no.

will update soon guys.

love,

-zie.

2010-01-14T18:23:00.002+07:00

i am so shagged i want to die now.
it's been a long time since i had sw.
and this time round, we played floorball.
i scored! rawwwwrrrr! first goal. .
power to the max. hahaha.
i am so tired my eyes are half-ed open. kiwak. -.-

school has been quite pathetic these few days uh..
but i loike! heehee..
but i am still feeling the pressure and stress,
i do not know why..
probably just a lot of things that i have to take care of.
or rather, studyy.

there's too many things i'm thinking of right now.
i need a break.
cant wait for zoo this SUNDAY!
wif ziela, ash n ___________.
fill up the space anyone?
heeheee. -.-

t.c guys.

love,
zie.-

2010-01-08T18:45:00.002+07:00

wake-up call.
it triggers me when i have to re-test
my HRA.

things are not going so well in my life,
and i really need people to help me.
i really need hugs and everyone to cheer me up.
it's over man.
u guys will get it sooner or later what i mean by its over.

somehow or rather i need to tell the truth.
but this has nothing to do wif wat i've done.
urgh? how do i explain this.
nvermind.
today has been the most confusing day in my entire life.

everything happens all at once.
errr.. only shafa understands.
she's been there for me all the time.
thanks dear.

sooooo, i need to concentrate on my HRA.
but i just hate being in class.
i mean in ISB.
really.
urgghh.

anyways, i know who i've got and who to depend to.
despite all these shits i've been thru,
the past month..
i'm sure i'll move on and be a better person
in some other eyes.
i just need to learn to stand up for my rights.

thanks for being there people. (:

love,
zie.-

2010-01-03T23:11:00.003+07:00

awwww mannn !
2oo9 is so over and i'm still not believing it.
time flies soo damn fast..
subhanallah..

but my countdown was super hillarious!
i love shafawati,marlina & rahayu.
I LOVE MY TRUE GIRLFRIENDS !!
arrghhhh.
i miss them alreaady..

tmrow school is starting,
and i cant believe i lost my wallet.. ):
omgawd.
i am so blessed i have babes to make my day,
forever n ever..
bestest sisters ever.

thanks for making my holiday,
the best ever..
bestest ever !! i love them. . .
to the core.
hahahaha.
but i'm still gonna see shafa tmrow!
i dun care!

i cant waiiittt to meet ZIELA ASH N LIN !!!
oohooooo!!
i miss them soo much siaaaaaal !
hahahaha.
sch sch sch!
back to busy-ness harrrr.

S, i hope to see u tmrow. (:

love,
zie.-

2009-12-30T22:45:00.003+07:00

i'm flying.
i'm in cloud 9.
omgawd my jaws are dropping !
i seriously cannot say anything alr.
wooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooo !!

work is fun fun fun today.
i cant wait for tmrow ! (:
heehee..

and cant wait for new year outing wif my babes.
i loooooove you girls are d best !

love,
zie.-

2009-12-28T19:39:00.002+07:00

mom's bali days has passed.
and spent quite pathetically.
i still cant believe i hadnt meet amir. ):
gosh i can cry just thinking about him.
but kakak n kaknor made it best!

until they return,
dad's bday surprise was cute.
hahaa.
and yes, watching sg idol was FUN !
goooooo sezairi !
i love what i bought for dad. .
and am pretty sure he loves it too.
thanks for the beau gifts mom..
digging it~

my holidays are freaking pathetic i must say.
but i am relieved i am done wif the lpd's proposal.
and ccc proposal.. has only a few things to be discussed,
and it'll be done and ready for printing..
printing.
i'm digging my new printer!
it's the best thing on my mind right now..
i cant stop using it..
thanks daaaaaaad ! ya're the best. . .

love,
-zie.

2009-12-23T19:21:00.003+07:00

it's not fair.
it's not fair the way u treated me..
when u got your new thing,
i helped you with all my heart.

when i got mine,
the first thing u said really hurt me.
and u show this fucked up face,
this sok stress face to me..
this is the balasan i get.
if you dont agree from the start,
just tell straight to my fucking face.

how could you... :'(
thanks..
thanks so much.

love,
zie.-

2009-12-22T17:52:00.006+07:00

meetings after meetings.
talks after talks.
stress after stress.
i finally get to start on the camp proposal.
what would i do without akmal n saiful.
just now was hillarious.
it's funny how we throwed our anger
to the most irritating guy in our lifes.
hahahaha. *winks*

my lpd proposal is also halfway done.
and i aim to finish it by end of this week.
cant wait for the final execution.

i sooo cant wait to get my new printer tmrow!
weeehoooo!

having said dat,
holidays have been supaaaaacrazyyy for me.
how about personal matters?
friends? family? my babyboy?

well i have yet to spend time wif my dearest friends..
except meeting ain n ita on saturday.
thanks for the gift ain. (: i loooove it! superb.
andd only met akmal n saiful today.
so i have not totally spend time with all my beloved friends.
especially babygirls. ):

family?
spending a lot of time with cousins lately.
it was fun.
furthermoreeeeee,
my parents!
they're leaving for BALI this thurs,
and wont be back till sunday..
i love mom.. the way she used her very own savings for this trip.
specially for dad.. gosh she's the greatest!
since its daddy's bdae tis sat.. :)
but i've already got great plans.
i hope. xD
i'm gonna miss them tho.
probably me n sis gonna do a small surprise
when he returns. can't wait!

andddddd, my amir.
seriously i have not met him.
since his bday..
i need to see him badlyyy..
like i miss him so much!
suupaaaaaaaa dupaaaaaaaaaaaa manyyy2!
definitely meeting him this sat.
i've got all day for you dear. :)

alrite dearest,
i'll update again soon.
take cares !

p/s : u're acting cold bitch.

love,
zie.-

2009-12-14T21:18:00.002+07:00

i'm starting to miss ziela, ash and lin..
only 3 days of hols and i feel like killing myself.
hahahaaa.

but yesterday's outing with bestest cousins was outstanding. xD
ambrosia cafe was delightful (:
we had light meals and desserts was nice. (:
and as usual, non-stop laughing..
headed to 313 and window shopped.
but kaknor managed to get something from f21.
coolness. :D

then we headed to our home,
around 11+..
finally they had a chance to sleepover at my house..
and this is what a true slumberparty is called..
they were getting hungry by 1am but had difficulties
to grab some food.. hahaha. (pemalas!)
i started to take out some pots and melt the couverture choc..
*winks* yesssss. fondue again !
haaahaaa. so we ended up eating marshmallows,
dipping them straight from the pot..
crazy arseholes siaaa..
so we laughed our way thru,
and finally had the most randomest idea.
but this isnt the first time it happened to me. .

we ditched a sex-maniac guy from irc. .
haahaha.
no. aku jugaaak jadi sasaran!
sickening sia these guys.
and yes, one unlucky man turned up,
waiting from wanita misteri to come.
hahahaha.
and kaknor started to fall for him,
cause she thought that guy is cute?
huh?? hahhahaha. . .
but he arrived at almost 4am.
after 3 hrs of chatting. .
finally one man came.
ANDY kaper. . .
buy i totally cannot tahan my eyes. . .
hahahahaha.
we slept at almost 5am.
and woke up at 123o siaaa.
by then sis has gone to work. . .
poor thing.. :D
had some more fun times,
doing the pizza for our breakfast+lunch..
it was great!
they headed home ard 5+..

and i went to cwp with mom.
tomyam was love (:
now i have to re-suffer for the rest of the 3 weeks.
not knowing what to do..
and having only 4bucks in my wallet.
haaahaaa!
swimming please? mom?

bye guys.
will update sooon.

love,
-zie.

2009-12-10T21:30:00.003+07:00

as i said,

HOLIDAY = GEREKKK !

yes . finally hols are here !
i am sick and tired of school,
cause it has been extremely difficult for me. .
but i'll definitely miss my bestest sisters.
they will forever make my day. .

this week has been tiring yet EXTREME fun !
congrats to ziela,ash,lin and anuar for making
the selling of CHOC FONDUE a sukses ~!
we made damn loads profit and thanks for those
who SINCERELY supported us. .
it can never happen w/o you guys who helped,
and we will forever appreciate it until the day we die.
for sure. heh ! :D

its great to have school ended this way. .
its time for the five of us to celebrate !
when u guys have time. *winks*

what am i gonna do during hols ?
hahahahahahahahahahaha . big question .
i suspect my hols are gonna be worse
than my normal days. . nabei~
but whatever it is, i dun have to go to school rite ?

i'm having duty tmrow with sha in sch for
the reunion dinner. .
and thanks akmal for lending ur camm. (:
u rock brother.

lastly,
i miss my baby ! ):
seriously..
please bring me out soon ami. .
its holidays tau...
hope to see u soon.

love,
-zie.

2009-12-02T18:23:00.004+07:00

things have been so cool so far !

yes. i have this problem of blogging so late and people will get so fed-up. .

so yes .

i have returned, safe and sound in Singapore . . .

i'm sorry i couldnt get the nano2 sweets for you adeq . .

hehehe . . and seeing dad korban-ing the lembu was RAWK ! (:

cause the last time i saw dad doin it,

i had no idea or rather didnt get me to thinking. .

this time round i had so much fun. . . :D

i returned and celebrated my one and only love's bday. . (yesterday)

Muhammad Amir Bin Salleh, has finally turned 18. (:

Love you la sehh. . .

Check it out.

so there you go !

my Hari Raya Haji celebs . . .

take care guys. .

i have so much things going on. .

see ya sooooon !!

love,

-zie.

2009-11-25T20:28:00.002+07:00

i had my LAST DAY today..
hahahahahaha.
confirm adeq irritated nye aku ckp gini..
tkper . . die da cium aku !
nampaak tuuu ?

i took pics with my best girls in sch today.
and ash's one was, ERGH.... hahahaha.
lin punya tk lawa,
so aku put the previous pic i took with herrr .
nyahahahhaa ...

its my last day, cause tmr i'm gg back to kampung,
to celebrate Hari Raya Haji !
hahaha . and obviously,
i'm not thaaaaat excited.
idk uhh..
but i'll not be attending sch tmr ..
gonna miss schooooool tho.

hahaha.
whatever lah ehk kampung .

anyways bie,
i dont want to end it that way just now.
things btween us is so complicating.. ):
i am gonna miss you.
take care . . .

bye guys ! i'll be back . . .

love,
-zie.

2009-11-10T18:42:00.002+07:00

i dont know what's up with you.
but i've been pissed with you whenever you do this
to me at this kind of situation.
seriously kid, grow up.

tell straight to my fucking face the exact fucking reason.
dont tell me other reasons.
and tell other people OTHER fucking reasons.
just tell me ONE SIMPLE reason...
and that's fucking enough !
i wanna know why u wont do this favour for me.
i get fucking sick and tired to ask you the same question.
fucking sick my dear !

i've been through a lot of fucking things with you..
and the fucking truth is,
I DID IT WITH NO FUCKING DOUBTS.
and i would even give the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD
to you if i could... !!
AND NOW I MUST SAY, FUCK YOU!

cause you cant even do me this small little favour for me..
i still dont understand why..
up until now.
think about this eh..
whoever you are.

i want to go swimming..
jom ziela? ash? lin?

p/s : i need my kampung.

love,
-zie.

2009-11-05T16:47:00.002+07:00

i've been dealing with this bullshit over and over again.
seriously you, i am sick and tired.
stop this bullshit now.
stop this nonsense now.
stop every single stupidest thing right now.

just tell me off if you dont like me behaving like this.
tell me off if you're starting to hate me.
tell me off if you think i'm worthless.
seriously my dear, tell it straight to my face.

i have lost so many tears and it cant be bothered
to cry again.
i've came to school with the sickest mood ever,
but later in the day decided to put that away
because it is definitely a waste of time.

i've got my sisters and brothers in front of my eyes.
what more could i ask for.
they always made my day w/o fail.

today was hillarious. (:

love,
-zie.

2009-10-31T19:05:00.002+07:00

i'm quite excited.
for almost everything..
especially to my upcoming lpd project.. :)

i hope this one turns out well enough .
as well as the blogshop project.

so stressed lah terdelete all the pics !!
sorry ziela n ash sista..
gue nggak sengaja !
tapi gue pasti the blogshop is opening by next week !
promise sia nie .. ahahas .

many2 things has been going on with me,friends n families
these few dayss ...
anuar's birthday was fun..
with my bestest sisters and brothers ..
i'll try to upload the vids here. :D

ite has been loads of fun for me..
hahahas .
super fun..

and tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwwww..
my NINE MONTHS with ami(:
babyboy, ILY !

bye guysss !

love,
zie.-

p/s : i'm missing cousins :)

2009-10-22T17:25:00.004+07:00

GUA SUDAH LAMA TKDA BLOG WOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

SISTAS BROTHERS GUA SEMUA BINGET WOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!

HAHAHAHAHHHAHAA .

Hello Semuaaa ! Yang Chantek, Yang Hansem, Yang Burok, Yang Hodoh ...

Terima Kasih kerana telah menunggu setelah sekian lama

saya sudah kembali ke pangkal jalan... :DD

MY UPDATES :

HARI RAYA 2oo9.

(which is like dah lama berlalu)

CANTEKK KAAAAAN.. SEMUA IN GREEEEEN..

LAGIK SATU UPDATE !!

HAPPY BDAY TO MEEEEEE LAHHHH !!

12 HARI YANG LALUUUUUU ... HEHEHEHE .

kay kental lahh seh gmbar tu.

hahaha.

those were all the presents on me. wahahahas ...

bagus bagus bagus .

truthfully. i have been very lazy with my laptop.

banyak project going on.

personal project.

school project.

i'll be updating real2 soon.

sorry loves.

i'll update. insyallah ..

love,

-zie.

2009-09-17T12:50:00.003+07:00

TIGA HAARRRRI LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGI.
hahahahahahas .

see how badly i want to raya ?

kay so today's post is about what i am gonna buy
when i got all my duit raya.

First of all, REDearphones,SiMs3,redwallet,newschoolshoes,redkemeja
and many2 moreee red things pleaaaaaaaaaaaaseee !!

red handphone ? hahaahas. dgr2 duit raya leh beli hp pe.

shit uhh.

bye peopleeeeeeeeeeeeee!
3 more days to raya i cant wait......................................
wooohooohooooo!

love,
zie.-

2009-09-15T20:52:00.002+07:00

LIPGLOSS ALERT !

wahahahahas.
kay zie da siao .
i just told lea few days back wat i'd do
if i'm bored .
MAKE-UP !
trust me . i've did it countless times
during this ramadhan month .
i was so bored i just dunnoe wat to do .
so i have always decided to try
my new make-ups for Raya ..

jgn nanti raya tkde make-up suaa .
so as for today, i tried the lipglosses !
which is suppeeeeeeeeeeeerbbly NICEEE !!
hahahahhaas .
i asked ash for sleeping pills today
cause i wanted to sleep to till RAYA !
which is sooo 5 more daysss ..

LAMA NYERRRRRRRRRRR .
hahahas . siao ah zie siaaaaooo .
henna semua dah siap .
kasut pun dah asal boleh belik,
thanks to shaa . (: ahahahas .
naaaaaak jugak ehhh !

so back to the lipgloss storyy.
naseb baek i cleaned it of early cuz
sha's family came to buka my house
w/o me knowing .

i thought it was just mom coming back
from buying NAAN(which i gobbled A LOT !)
hahahahakss.
funny2. i was this closed to being caught byy
them for my super glossy lips. ;)

kay guyss !
i'll blog real soooon.

love,
zie.-

2009-09-10T22:57:00.002+07:00

YEAY !
changed skin . hahahahas .
definitely better and i love it . xD

hmmmms.
after so many birthdays and celebrations.
and having exams to be OVER ! ,
i am FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !

holidays are like the bestest part of your life
cause u can do anything u want w/o any constraints,
like for e.g, change your blogskin !
TADAAA !
my twin(ash) has made an effort to askef
ISB to go for buka as a class,
but i really cannot make it ..
too many things gg on tat week.
because..

its NINE DAYS TO HARI RAYAA !
oh i so cant wait !
cant wait for all of us to be in greeen (:
thanks to me for that ideaa .
but there's a lott more that is not done.
especially mom's kueh !
whahahas.
and i havent start my m&m cookies
to x-change with babygirl-leaaa..
but whatever its is,
i still cant wait for rayaaa.
hope its gonna be extreme fun :D

i'm counting down !
9 days to raya
1 mth to 8-teen YEARS OLD !
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

love,
-zie.

2009-09-04T21:20:00.003+07:00

one of the bestest days i always had was
spending time with my beautiful girlfriendss..
and today was one of THE BEST.

altho how much or how many people ruin our day,
it will definitely turn out good.
that includes you mom.
sometimes i will never get you even until i grow till a 1oo years. ):

anyways, today was super simple and sweet..
mini-celebration for my Babygirl Salyieha~ xD
break-fast at Marina Barrage..
ordered RITE Pizza.
hahaahhas. okay. one of the main reasons it was RITE Pizza
is because PizzaHut dont know where the heck is
Marina Barrage ! WHAT THE FUCK.
ahahahahas . menguji kesabaran betuuul ...
but the meal was nice ! ;)
bought lea lovely bangles and cookie.
glad she lovedd it..

we took lots lots lots lots n lots n lots of picss..
shud be waiting for leha n ain to pass it to me.. :D
hahahas.
ily girls so much.. so so much.
i look forward to more days with u all..!!
MUACKS !

my exams is coming monday..
hope i can make it. haisshh..
that's all guysss !

t.c!

love,
-zie.

2009-08-26T22:18:00.002+07:00

sometimes i dont get it.
i just get fed up over such things.
i'm real tired of everything that has happened
to me lately.

all i ask for is happiness.
true happiness. ):

even the smallest matter makes me all so worked up.
i just hate this feeling.
nothing will make me feel better.

my smiles are just soo obliviously fake.
urgh.

love,
zie.-

2009-08-18T21:06:00.003+07:00

i am currently coping with my STRESS.
my presentation is not over yet.
and every single day there is like tonnes of PAC
assignments.
i just need my presentation to be done.

despite all this,
i still cant get it why no one understands my situation.
especially the one i loved most.

seriously, i didnt asked for all the assignments.
i didnt ask for these projects.
i have no reason to ignore you.
the worst thing is, i still did made an effort to call or text you.
i still DID !
ya allah..

i dunnoe how else to explain to youuu..
this is the only time i get to blogg.

nites.

love,
zie.-

2009-08-14T22:19:00.003+07:00

in my mind right now, every now and then..
there are only one group of people that i miss so much.
there they are below.
my 5n3, Teachers' Heaven. ):

i am really2 missing these guys soo2 much.
i dun even noe when is the exact time i can meet them all.
everyone is so busy...
haisshhh. sad2.. ):

even meeting my babygirls is so susah now.
i miss them SO MUCH i can cry.. AIYO !
how seyy.
please 5-3.
contact me soon.
we shall go out..

i am really messed up with my presentation.
cause i keep changing and changing the contents.
haha. stress2 .
its okay. i'll be done..
can present with ash on monday, insyallah..

i cant wait for puasa.
wonder how i'm going to experience it this time. (:
things are happening so fast. xD

i see you guys again soon.
bye.

p/s : i miss you mir. (:

love,
zie.-

2009-08-11T16:51:00.002+07:00

it's been a long time since i had this feeling i got from you always.
ruining my plans at the very last minute when i am gg out with girlfriends.
this always happens back then in secondary school.
but mom, i am going to be EIGHTEEN for goodness sake.
i am in ITE for god damn's sake !
what's so wrong with me watching movies with my bestest girlfriends
whom I have not met them for like, A MONTH !

but today's plan you cancelled really went into my nerves.
and the reason i cant go for movies is bcuz i went for RENTAK SINGAPURA
on saturdayy??
i went out with you on SUNDAY.
i stayed at home FOR YOU on MONDAYY !
and i cant go for movies todayy??
why the fuck should this happen ?

i'm sorry for being rude.
but Rentak Sg wasnt your money anyway.
It was dad's.
So? Did I asked u for money this moviees?
NO MOTHER. NOT AT ALLLLLLLL.
In fact i told u. "Dont Worry. I got money"
I went back home and i asked y u did not reply my msg..
And u said "BUAT APA AKU NK REPLY. BENDA TK MUSTAHAK."
seriouslyy. all i can say is fuck.
i dont understand why I am still treated like this
even when I am going 18 soon.

and always there is the worst part.
and it is always the time when I went to meet my babyGs. ):
i cant be anymore upset .
i am getting the hang of it mom.

thanks a lot.

love,
-zie.

2009-08-06T21:20:00.007+07:00

i have been keeping quiet these few days..

and i dont think i can hold it any longer.

if you think blogging is fun.

then i have no reason not to do this.

i'm not trying to be nice here.

but come on.

it hurts me a lot seeing us insulting each other,

directly,indirectly or thru blogging watsoever.

especially when we realise that we are part of each other.

it started out so well the first time.

but now, every single thing that we all do, say or mention in class

will become a big issue.

nobody will admit who starts first.

but somebody can ask all of us to STOP this fight.

or argument, whatsoever.

and it will be me.

and for OUR information, we are in ITE.

they are a part of me.

they are starting to be like, my life.

u guys are a part of me.

please. let's just do our part as a class.

it hurts me seeing my sisters shouting n insulting you.

but it hurts me also seeing u blog about this.

the main thing is, let's just stop it.

somebody has to stop this and solve the root of the problem.

insyallah.
we'll be happy again one day.

it's really painful to see this happen..

I LOVE ISB.

love,

-zie.

p/s : the pic is not for you. its for someone else..

2009-08-04T20:43:00.005+07:00

Hahaha.
This is sistas.
Today empat2 jiwaa pakai Polo T.
Sooo, jiwa uh !

so let me story what we always do in sch every single dayy.
NOTHING.
HAHAHAHA.
we stick around our asses everywhere in school and kacau2 orang.
look at the pics above.
satu2 dah gone case.
LIN punye muke pon dah tak larat nk makan.
dah kehilangan die punye HANEP. hahahhaa.
si ZIELA, dah feeling buat kad jemputan die ngan rusydi manerr tahh.
ASH pulakk, hahaha. member sedih apple juice die tumpah..
dah tk dpt minummm..
HAHAHAHA.

so today waas a veryy merempat dayy.
bze also dun havee.
duk canteen tgk style by juryy??
Haiyoooo.
But every single day is fun uh with sisters.

The only thing is that the environment of the class has to change.
banyak budak perangai kental.
zzzzzz...

bsok SW ah sista!
Badminton jalan terusss .. !!
LING AH LING!

wansui OUTS!
hahahahaha.

love,
zie.-

2009-07-27T18:46:00.004+07:00

this few days has been havoc for me.

first, mum's "celebration" was a success.
it was fun, havoc and hectic sia..
i am super tired.
until i skipped religious class the next day.
Ya Allah.. xD
Played abg's PS3 almost half the day..
Ate RICE two times. =x !!
wahahaha.
cause lauk kenduri was so nice.

so sch started today,
as usual.
off to school with ZIELA baaabyy (:
hahaha.
and i realised that i left my locker keys + thumbdrive
in the other bag. BEST.
caner ehk? OFA can settle. used ash's t.d...
PAC? mampos sistas semua kena halau.
pasal buku first sista dlm locker, kunci pun tk bawak. (ZIELA)
second sister, buku ada.. assignment pat rumah,
page assignment pon gi koyakkan, pat rumah jugak (LIN)
nie last sista BEST. dah buat keje, dah hand in.
tapi cikgu halau me ziela n lin..
die pon IKOT! PEH BODOH. cikgu panggil naik TANAK !
buat perangai (this one u noe who lah kay)
HAHAHHAHA. bagus2. die blood ngan kiterr.
dgr2 aku pon kena marah pasal si die ni tak tau nk naek.
HAHAHHAA.
The "VIJAY SINGH" joke made mine n ziela's dayy.
fuck u ash. HAHAHHAA.

And I realise how much i've been playing around in school.
I failed BZE. No JOKE.
I havent start on my presentation slides..
Annd, i surely have to do something about it.
With another case study due which will be real soon.
My SW attendance going down.
Tmrow, CMB CA!
Hahahaa. What the hell..
Seriously ziee, do something.

love u guys.

p/s : i miss my babygirls. ):

love,
zie.-

2009-07-23T23:29:00.005+07:00

THURSDAYY.
hmmm.. really2 long day.
and i had a reaaaaaalyy long break. 11 to 2.
2 to 3 ofa. trus balek.
damn pathetic..

anyywayss, the sweetest thing happen to me today.
this is the first time i ever had a guy-good-fren doing
something nice to me.
nie bukan nice lagik. nie sweet giler.
so first of all, during break.
me n ash catched up to my crazy brothers,
saiful,raley,akmal wan n dan.
they were going to ljs, to eat.
so we tagged along, met anuar there.
i told them i wasnt going to eat as i have no money,
and the same time i am saving for mum's present.
so akmal indirectly says that he wants to use his money
to buy me a meal.
and i obviously rejected.
then they all buy their meals.
me n ash were sitting down. like bongok.
so here starts the argument of me not eating.
wan offered me his chicken. i refused.
saiful starts nagging..
"zie kau nak.. share uh ngan aku.."
blahh blahh blahh. i rejected again..
then all of them get mad cause i wasnt eating !

ape eh aku nk buat? paksa peh paksa..
saiful put a piece of his chicken on a tissue and give it to me.
and some fries..
i tell you kay. never ever a guy fren did that to me..
it was really sweet lah bro.
abeh dah gini, akmal merajuk pasal aku tk accept his offer.
i seriously feel bad uhh.
but i dont know how else to thank them. to saiful esp..
okay maybe this may be the lamest post to u guys uh,
it may be just a chicken.

ouhh kay wait. one more thing.
part paling best is this one.
raley asked, "zie kau tak makan eh?" with a concern face.
i jawab, "tk uh." he ask again, "asal tk makan?"
i said, "tk ahh.. aku tgh save duit"
AND HE SAID, "ohh. ok la.. kalau gituu, kau duk tmpat lain boleh tk?
i need more space to eat uh. SEMPIT seyy."
i was like ewaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh die nieeee.
stop it seyy... haiyerrr ! aku igt die pon nk offer belanja! DAMN IT!
hahaha. siak tul raley.

kk.
the moral of the story is, they are the bestest brothers i ever had.
thanks lah bros. korang best. :D

okay its 1245am. i have class at 9 later on.
and i am not sleeping yet cause the whole family is watching,
JANGAN TEGUR.
boleh mampus siak aku tgk nie cerita.
serious.
tk ley make it.

nites all ! muackss!

p/s : i need my babygirls. badly. i miss them.

love,
zie.-

2009-07-18T15:44:00.002+07:00

no matter how much i enjoyed being single,
i still dont think i'm happy.
i may be laughing out loud..
mengilai mcm budak tk betol.
but god knows how much i miss you.
god knows how much i still have feelings for you.

i admit i will never get over you so soon.
but thinking of the bad times we had hurts me so much..
the pain was unbearable.

i just need to tell you.
u are still in my heart..
knowing that u are a little happy now,
is like a tight slap for me.
i just dont know what else to say..

my doors for any other guys are closing..
just take care love.
i will miss you. (:

APM TODAY!
I NEED SLEEQ AND ST12 PLEAAAAAAAAAAAASEE!!
hehehehe.. yeayyyyyy :DD

love,
zie.-

2009-07-14T21:27:00.003+07:00

let's just say.

i'll have to move on with life.

after what happened recently..

i dont know what to say.

or how i should feel..

whats left to say is,

i would close my heart for anyone else.

that's all.

to whom it may concern,

if u're reading this..

please take care of yourself.

thanks for everything u gave me..

i really appreaciate it.

now its really hurtful to think of the past.

haizz..

but look at the pic above. :D

look what i still have..

they are simply the best..

like i say, i'll move on..

i am done with loads of assignments and projects.

alhamdulillah. (:

left with presentation in powerpoint slides..

bye peeps.

love,
zie.-

2009-07-08T20:43:00.005+07:00

Hello peeeps. (:

IS came up to me in sch today and told me to update my blogg.

HEHE. So i'm here, updating..

He's such a stalker.

So what should i talk about?

Everytime i see IS n talked to him in school,

it reminds me so much about The Teachers' Heaven.

And how much i miss them..

The situation of the class.

The V-Shaped seating arrangements !

colourful tables n walls..

(semua step letak goals pat tembok padehal tk leh make it)

hahahha..

5-3 is a blessing to me.

I was considered the luckiest person to be part of them

They are the greatest ! kudos to them. (:

btway, take a closer look at that pic above..

I MISS THAT DAMN SPECS.

Serious shit seyy.. ):

It's my favourite..

*okay zie is going to cry again*

But i already have my new one today.

And the best thing is, no one noticed its new.

Cause 80% of the new one looks identically like the

one i lost.. ):

I still love the old one though. Got Grey colourrr.. ):

watever lahh.

people will say its just a specs..

but it belongs to 10% of my heart.

HAHHAKS.

kay i'm starting to talk bullshit here cause i am doing my case-study.

so post pun byk kluar percent% !

merepek siaa..

i still have to do my research, my portfolio, my video recording..

thanks to Ms N we are able to negotiate, and postponed the due date. (:

the condition of my house now i currently a mess.

cause dad is painting new colours.

and we are shifting many things aroundd..

my house will look neww !! weeeee... :DD

we have few more months to puasa..

and we are done with one wall ! YEAY!

alright! i hope iskandar is happy i updated. (:

see u in school bro !

gdnights. (:

love,

zie.-

2009-07-05T22:03:00.002+07:00

i lost my red specs..
i broke my red shades (wasnt my fault)
(took out from the bag and its broken)
i broke my red scarf.. (long ago)
seriously, i wanna quit having favourite things..
i cant accept the fact i would lost my specs..
AGAIN.

and someone cant shut her fucking mouth.
tell the whole world i lost it !
tell the whole world i am careless.
u talk behind my back,
and complain to your husband all about me.. ?
so who is the one who lost the specs ??
kau kuat membebel pasal orang bodoh.
BESAR PEH KEPO !
mak aku sendirik tk membebel pasal ni benda..
and u went bossing around telling people about
someone's mistake !!
fuck you lah bitch.
i am scolded from mum because of your mouth..
but i noe mum is trying to protect me. (:
its true.
i should stop using all your things from now on.
and u better shut your fucking mouth,
before we shut yours asshole.

my sister's bdae bash was a success yesterdayy.
YEAYY !!
Hennie's small celebration went good just noww. :DD

holidays are over.
school restarts tmr.
i'm only done with bze assignments.. hehee :D
i miss my uniform.
kay people.

good nights(:

p/s : i'm losing the feeling..

love,
zie.-