sometimes it hurts me seeing this happen.
i dont know why.
but i have to bare with this.
i want to be fair.
i want to show that i care.
but sometimes it keeps running in my mind
that i cannot have it.
seeing someone else taking it from me.
i just cry and let myself accept this fact.
who am i actually to those eyes?
which is exactly more important?
someone whom u have known for all your life,
or someone whom u only started to get a life with them.
it saddens me to see this.
i planned so much in my head just for you.
but it just turn out to be dreams. AGAIN.
but when it comes to my day, i...
i'm the one who plans it.
and u treat me like any other normal days..
nothing is special for me from u..
i just cry when i think about this..
thanks.
but i still love you.

love,
zie.

Labels: i dont know lah.

It's really sad to see how a good friend got hurt by her boyfriend.
I pity her. Her sacrifices for her guy. Her commitment towards love.
They have been to me, the most loving couple ever.
Seeing that jerk with that bitch makes me angry, and sad.
They've been together for so long. And the guy took only a little
time to get over her. That really proves how much she really mean to him?
Maybe NONE. I felt really sad. I salute her for staying strong.
And not crying so much for this matter? Cause it's really not worth.
After i see the true colours. No matter what girlfriend, i'll still be with you.

To me, it is a wake up call.
I felt good and relieved after seeing this incident.
It is good that I left a good guy friend.
I learnt how to let go of certain things that wont turn out well.
I am happy that I left a friend like you.
Same case, almost two years i know you.
I expect so much. But nothing came.
I was happy you finally put and end to it.
May you lead a happy life without me in future.

It is time for me to wake up to reality.
I have friends. Alhamdulillah. Who have been so understanding.
Live life to the fullest.
Leave all my fantasy behind.
Fantasy, what i mean was, something that isn't here for me.
HIM. I do love him. But, right here right now.
I want to go far. And succeed in life.
I thank him for his fullest support.
If we are fated to be together in the future,
God's willing. We will.
Now zie, It's O Levels..
Take care and Good Luch everyone.

love,
zie.

Labels: love is not in my mind now

well today isn't a good day at all.
today is my most shocking, unreasonable daay.
it's the O Level MT Results.
Guess bloody WHAT?!
I got C6! C6 C6 C6 C6 C6 C6 C6 C6 C6 C6 C6 C6 C6!!
FOR MALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
IT IS NOT MATHS. NOT ENGLISH.
IT IS MALAAAAAAAAAAY. C6.
That is my most shocking news i ever had my entire life......
What did i do to get a C6????
I did control my emotions.. At FIRST.
But, right after form teacher came to me..
And talked to me.. I breakdown into tears lahhh sehh.
He knows i am hardworking.
C6 for malay is so unreasonable for me..?
What was i writing... English storyy? Eh omg like freaking bodoh lor.
Thanks cher for those words. Thanks for believing in me..
Proud of hennie and ain for their distinctions. Great Job.

I'm turning over to a new leaf.
That's it. Hook or crook, something needs to be done.
Dont be let down by anything else now zie.
U gotta work towards your goals.
I promise that to myself..

love,
zie.

national day was spent wiselyy.
i had spectacular times loorrr.
HAPPY 43RD BIRTHDAY SINGAPOREEE.
SHINE FOR SINGAPOREEEE!!

saturdaaaay.
it's fun to watch the parade, ON TV.
with om and nazrul. that tall guy. haiyerrr.
dah ade girlfriend ehhh mentel ehhh.
altho my firework's wish wasnt fulfilled.
i am still glad i had them to accompany the family.
it was cool overall.
love u guysss!!

SUNDAY.
the most beautiful SUNDAY i have ever had my entire lifee!
times with kakak,kakak nor and sha was a blast.
the day we four have been waiting for finally came!
Free tix to escape theme park. And i looovee those times lah kaaaaan.
Took the first ride. VIKING. Hahahaha.
Cool laahhh. Except for one thing. Sha...
Sha had a bad time vomitting out watever she ate after each ride..
Hahahaha. Cute lah she. So kakak said, this is the last
escape theme park for her.
Too bad the wet & wild was upgrading. Those vomits
totally didnt make her day. Poor her. At least she still smiled at the end.
Ahahaha. It's cute seeing her at the sick bay. Hahahaha.
So we went to EXPO rite after that for some imaginary shopping.
Why? Because we were all seeing nice stuffs but couldnt buy it!
Hahahaha. Took more and more pics without fail...
And we headed home took train..
This is the most unforgettable part.
Cause they keep saying i am the HOTSTUFF.
Cause i just slipped two guys...?? HAHAHAHA.
One came running back just to wave at me.. How sweet.
But NO! I cannot do that.. My mind is only on IS IS IS!!
Pleasee luhhhhhh....
Sooo afterall! Kakak Nor is still a hotstuff after being observed
with another hot..... NOOOOOT!! hahahaha..
Love u girls. Pics will be uploaded here soooooooon.

Todaaaaay.
Went to sha's crib to help her out wit her dnt..
Hahahhaa. That's all.
Sooooo, NDP 08 this year is F-U-N!!
Love her. Love u. Love mum. Love everyone!

I miss my crappy non-stop laughing crazy but yet so loving
GIRLFRIENDS!

love,
zie.

Labels: NDP FUN THIS YEAR ;

omg.
i cant believe u wont let me go to the nearest place ever siak.
it is so hurting when u say things like that sehh.
wat do u take me for siak? a maid or wat.
u've never been fair to me.
u've never let me spend time with my friends.
when will i ever go out with them and have fun siak?
y cant u just understand me.
am i going out everyday?
am i spending money every time?
its a fucking NO siak.
friends, she said this :
"korang keluar mcm org bergaji gitu ehhh.
asyik nk pakai duit ajeeer.
kau nk pegi.. pegi 2 jam je lepas tu balek!"
siakk uhhhhh. first of all u say KORANG?
It bloody means mak dah kutuk kawan2 ADIK!!
when did i ever go out with them siakkk????
They are my friends and u got no bloody rights to say
that.... I love them more than anything!!
In fact this is the second time u did this to me..
The first time was during holidayss!!
Lagik never make senseeeee. Babi lahhh.
And secondly, 2 hrs?? Do you know for how many fucking long
hours i have been working hard to get my head in my studies??
U cannot even tink of all that siakk.
All u think about is money. And furthermore, i wanted to use my money.
Cibai laahhh. Even one of them says she knew it when i say i couldnt go.
U SEE THAT? SHE SAID SHE KNEW IT. CAUSE SHE KNOWS U ARE
NOT UNDERSTANDING AT ALL!!
AND I KNEW IT TOO. I KNEW IT WHENEVER U MAKE THAT FUCKING FACE.
I KNEW U WOULD SAY SOMETHING THAT BRING ME DOWN.
AND BECAUSE OF THIS, I SURELY THINK HENNIE IS MAD BECAUSE I CHANGE
PLANS AT THE VERY LAST FUCKING MINUTE.
IS IT MY FAULT NOW MUM?? IS IT???? U FUCKING TELL ME LAAHH.
I CAN EVEN LOSE MY BESTEST FRIENDS IF U CARRY ON BEING LIKE THIS SIAKKK.
and that's the thing that i am afraid about!
I'm afraid to lose them.... I wonder if they would ever trust me because of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are most most most most more more more understanding than you are!!


FUCK OFF LAHH!
I HATE UNFAIR PEOPLE.

Labels: I

it's august now.
and that is bloody fast. 23 days to prelims.
and i'm freaking nervous.

after missing sha soo much.
now i get to see her for 3 days.
yesterday, JUST NOW and tmr.
How coooool is thaaaat.
i told her my beloved's stories.
and i almost breakdown agaaaaain.
tears of jooy lahh ku kater.
Met her just now. To study? NOOOOOOT.
We gossiped. About who?
HAH. Only WE KNOW.
Blearhhh. Soooo we were walking at causeway point.
When we were in the photo shop.
I got a msg. I saw a long number.
And i was jumping!!! Sha was happy toooooo.
Hahaaaaaaa. Darling msged meeeeeeeee.
And asked to calllllll.

BUT!!! I did not call him. Cause dunnoe lahhhhhhh.
Aiyoooo! Tkde mood nk crite.
Grrrrr. Only make my heart pain.
Ayyyyyyy!

Its time for me to change my blogskin i tink.
Say Goodbye to Chris Brown.
Coming Soooooooon.

Kay sooo, gd luck everyone.
I love you all.

love,
zie.