hahaha. kay tak paham.
i realised today i should just take care of myself.
and care about myself and my beloved girlfriends.
sad to say bf is not here with me.
still, i continue to maintain the way it is suppose to be.
but definitely things are changing.
i realise that i shouldnt care much about other people's inner matter.
cause if i really think deeper about it,
i get angry and then turn everything into a disaster and a fight.
why should i bother a person's happiness?
obviously, for one simple reason, i love that person.
and i want the best from them.
but now i think i rather keep my mouth shut.
or rather keep my anger deep inside my heart.
throw it down my stomach. hahaha.
why cry for a person who doesn't even show that they care for us?
why put so much hope on them kan?
so yesterday. i realised all those things.
now i couldn't care less anything about her.
i should not bother her anymore.
cause if i do, she'll bring another person in our matter.
things weren't like that when we were 10 yrs old.
but whatever fuck now.
i dun think it would change for the better.
altho i've been thru a lot.
i decided not to go madrasah today because
firstly, i need to mug.
secondly, i'm in too much pain to even look at her face.
and i also learnt. not to put the fucking blame on others.
even if its not my bloody fault. hahahaha.
just blame urself. make sense? HAHAHA.
things are turning to be pathetic and not logical.
i wont be defensive of myself. HAHA. serious pe zie?
i'll still stand strong. be it by myself.
i thank god i have my girlfriends.
amin.
love,
zie.
Labels: LET IT CHANGE.
