Thursday, May 15, 2008

i didnt wanna hurt you.
but i had to.
i dont do things for no reason.
i seriously had no intention of hurting you.
but hey, i am one of the most pathetic girl!
who wouldn't be angry if the priority is not given to me.
yes. may sound pathetic and unreasonable everyone.
but thats not really what i'm trying to say here.
look, i've known you for almost seventeen years.
everyone knows we are like blood sisters.
and seeing u defending someone whom you know
for less than 4 years? someone whom you dont
even know can give u happiness in the future.
seeing you having a happier day with him
it tells me, where i stand in ur life rite now.
i'm sinking.
and, there's so many reasons why i am so freaking
angry with you..
i just couldnt accept it.

yes maybe its not just about me.
i know i've been spitting out the wrong words.
maybe i have been seeing things my way.
and saying things from what i see.
but u dont always speak out.
u have always been keeping secrets.
and will be saying that i will always be bothered
with your stories.
yes. i may be bothered. so bothered.
but u know i have always been here for you.
then why the secrets. y still keep quiet?

and yes i am always being compared with you.
thats one of the reason why i started to hate you.
but i dont really care about this comparing thing.
i'm not blaming you totally.
i noe its not even your fault.
but its just the reality. i still go on my life with you
as per normal.
nobody has ever treat me like u did.

i am very angry.
my results were the at the very bottom.
and i was afraid i'm being compared again.
but the whole thing is not about the comparing now.
i still cant take wat u said to me that day.
that changed my whole perception towards you.
"he's my guy he has the right to know"
i've never even shared anything about you to my guy.
i dont even have the chance to meet him.
see how my life has been difficult?
u made it more difficult!
who the fuck is he to enter our problems.
i'm sorry. but it just doesnt work that way for me.

people may say that i'm expecting you to give in to my problems.
but again. this is just what i want to say.
i dont expect anything from you right now.
cause i'm too sad !
and still need time to think.
still need to see where i stand in each and every person
that i love the most.

aku tanak orang cakap nanti aku marah for the wrong reason.
aku slalu nk kau jer ckp sorry.
i didnt ask for all that. sumpah demi allah.
nanti org kater aku jer slalu nk betul.
so i will just shut my mouth.

no more talking about you and me.
after the time is right.

that's all i have to say.